


To Start Again

by Life_sans_Sin



Series: With and Without [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Papyrus is biggest shipper, Protective Papyrus (Undertale), Stuff is coming together, Takes place in the 'With and Without' universe, Where Reader takes place of/is Lena, morning coffee, things are happening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Life_sans_Sin/pseuds/Life_sans_Sin
Summary: (I suggest reading With and Without and all other parts of this series before reading this installment, so things make more sense!) https://archiveofourown.org/series/509238Come scream at me on Tumblr! https://life-sans-sin.tumblr.com





	1. Chapter 1

[ Load #8 of Set #48 ]

Sans found himself staring up at his ceiling again. He wanted to be upset, his sockets narrowing into a glare up at the popcorn ceiling and the dust and cobwebs sticking to it, but just couldn’t really bring himself to. His expression fell into one of exhaustion as he sighed, raising a hand to rub at his closed sockets. The quiet grating of bone on bone filled the otherwise silent room, though his skull was filled with plenty of noise. The sounds of love that once filled this very bedroom, the creaking of this very mattress... The way you had whispered sweet nothings to him and cradled his skull as he rocked against you.

But there was more than just that...

Your chastising filled his head, and he immediately stopped the bone-on-bone grating, giving a weary little chuckle. You always did hate it when he did that... he was never quite sure why. Maybe it was the way that it made him smell. You told him it made him smell like chalk dust, reminding you of a classroom. You always had wondered why he didn’t become a professor of some sort, teaching quantum physics or something ‘equally nonsensical’, as you would teasingly put it.

Ah, well. Better get up and see exactly how far back this LOAD has set him.

Slowly creaking into a sitting position, Sans allows the blanket to fall lifelessly off of his body as he stands from his mattress, sliding into his slippers and shuffling across the worn carpet to the calendar on his desk.

At least they were still on the Surface. He had to give them that much...

But as his eyelights scan across the calendar, they suddenly constrict to pinpricks, sockets blown wide. September 2nd. His mouth moves wordlessly along with the date as his index finger slides just underneath it, underlining it. This was... very unusual. Very different of the anomaly. Usually they’d always LOAD to the date Frisk ran away from school, the last SAVE point that Frisk made. But apparently the anomaly has made a new SAVE...

He’s not sure whether to be happy or concerned. Definitely concerned. Maybe a bit of both? It’s a sickening combination that leaves him feeling a bit lightheaded in its wake.

Now, how to move forward... Should he track down the anomaly first and foremost? Or...

...should he look for you?

The thought of getting rid of the anomaly for good was very tempting, but so was the idea of getting to see you again. It was difficult to remember, though, just how far into your ‘relationship’ he had gotten at this point in the game (figuratively speaking, of course). It was almost a full year, from your perspective, since you two met. But for him, it’s been... well, he’d rather not dwell on that.

Still, memories of your first life together, before the LOAD... they sting and cut at his insides for a moment, just a moment, as he stands there, rocking on his heels and just taking a moment to remember. You’d just become a part of his family... There had been thoughts (on his end, anyway) of children, in the not-so-distant future. Sure, there was a darkness shrouded around your future, but dammit, it was looking so bright with you by his side.

And with a slow exhale, he breathed out all those negative thoughts and feelings, and left himself feeling...hollow. Empty. Even if you two had only just fucked recently, a friends with benefits relationship, it looked like he was going to have to start all over again.

These were the thoughts that he was currently trying to push from his skull when his phone vibrated, rather loudly, from his desk where it had been charging. He jumped, turning to the device with a small glare and unhooking it from its charging cord to pick it up. He slid his thumb across the screen, bringing it to life and showing a plethora of notifications waiting for him. Email notifications, social medias, text messages... all of which were of little interest to him, save for one.

He quickly unlocked his phone and opened the message from you, eyelights scanning across the screen at a breakneck pace.

[Lena]: You still coming? I made the coffee ten minutes ago.   
[Lena]: I’d hate for it to get all stale and yucky…

Coffee. Coffee date. Fuck.

He slapped a bony palm against his forehead as he gripped his phone, rooting around his room frantically for his good (his usual) hoodie. All the while, he was trying to think of the best coffee-related pun.

* coffee, coffee… shit. mocha-- no, that won’t do. why am i having such a hard time with this??

Just as he pulled on his hooded jacket, it came to him, and he quickly unlocked his phone to type a reply.

[sans]: * of course. i couldn’t if i chai’d.   
[sans]: * besides i’m pretty sure i’d  _ frappe _ if i skipped out.

Sans held his phone a bit tighter as he cut a rift in the space in front of him, the faint smell of ozone permeating the air as the alley beside your apartment building came into view. He carefully stepped through and sealed the ‘doorway’ of sorts behind him, glancing down at his phone to see that he’d already gotten a message from you.

[Lena]: You bet you’d pay! There’d be a pretty high cof _ fee _ for missing out.   
[Lena]: Especially since I made pastries.

[sans]: * aww, how sweet of you.

[Lena]: Are you standing outside my apartment complex making terrible puns?

His grin widened, and he glanced at the passersby. He’d been enough of a feature there, along with Papyrus, that people knew of them and expected their antics. He wasn’t worried about making a scene.

[sans]: * no.

The sound of wood grating against wood, and a sharp whistle from up above drew his attention. And oh, there you stood, your nose wrinkled up in that way that it did whenever he made a terrible joke, but the beautiful, brilliant smile just beneath that told him how much you loved it.

“You’re an awful liar, you know that?” you called down to him, and he chuckled, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. He looked back up to say something, but you cut him off. “Save it! The coffee’s getting cold, and so are the pastries! Let yourself up.” You backed away just enough to close the window against the chill autumn morning air and he stared where you were standing for a moment. Just… watching. Watching how you turned and swayed your hips in time with whatever music you had playing, if there was even any music at all. Sometimes you were known to just dance for the sake of dancing, something that he always appreciated. Not just because he liked to watch your ass, but because, unbeknownst to you, when you were dancing, so was your SOUL. He couldn’t see it full proper, not really, but little glimpses would shine through every now and again.

With a quiet little sigh between his teeth, he moved back to the alley and cut another rift, this time opening into a space that smelled of cinnamon and sugar, and coffee. He stepped through just as carefully as the first, and as soon as it closed behind him, he felt arms envelop him in a friendly manner.

“About time you showed up. I was starting to wonder if you were going to ghost on me…”

“sorry if i spooked ya, but nah, doing something like that would be a grave mistake.”

Your arms immediately slid out from around him and a hand papped him on the top of his skull, so gently, one would think that you knew about his 1 HP. ...Maybe you did? Shit, when in the last run did he tell you about that?

“Well anyway, go sit. I’ll make you a cup. How do you want it?” You made your way toward the kitchen, hanging onto the doorframe and leaning backward to keep your head poking into the living room so you could catch his answer. He chuckled and, after a second’s thought, shrugged his shoulders. With a smile, you righted yourself and padded barefoot into the kitchen. “I’ll just make it like how I make mine, then. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“‘m sure i will.” His muttered words certainly didn’t reach you, but it didn’t really matter, anyway. You were already busy at work making your coffees, and he was already kicking his feet up on the couch. Memories of standing in the kitchen with you as you worked filled his skull, along with the familiar sounds of you bustling about. He could remember just the other day (from his perspective, anyway), how he’d stood behind you with an arm around your waist. Or, no, wait, that wasn’t a few days ago. That was much further back… Probably during the first run-through.

He shook his head.

His memory was starting to get more and more faulty with all of these LOADs happening. But he could still remember what happened with an abundant clarity...just maybe not exactly  _ when _ it happened.

The sound of a coffee mug setting to rest on a ceramic coaster pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked up just in time to see you curling up on the opposite end of the couch, your knees just barely out of reach of his feet that--

“You never remember, even after all this time.”

His soul stopped for a beat, and he looked up at you, not sure quite what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t for you to take hold of his slippers and yank them off in one fell motion. Oh. The look on his face must have been humorous, because you let out a stifled little giggle and dropped the footwear onto the floor beside the couch.

“what, you wanna play footsie or somethin’?” he asked, a light, teasing tone to his voice as he wriggled his toes, the soft grating sound filling the room for only a second before you put your hands on his feet, stopping the motion. You quickly removed them again, chuckling quietly as you reached for your mug, and the only thing that really hurt about that was how uncomfortable you seemed. Just yesterday, you’d been able to laugh fully and completely, and touch him without worry or care. He missed that, already.

He missed you.

You picked up your mug and took a small, hesitant sip, wincing slightly for only a second before a wide smile spread across your lips. “So, how have things been? I haven’t seen you as much lately because of studying for my final exam.”

Ah, right. You were studying for  _ the _ final exam. The one that would make you an official teacher. You’d be walking across some stage soon, receiving a piece of paper that told you what you already knew-- that you were suited to be a teacher… and then there’d be a party. But, you weren’t supposed to know about that yet.

“always told ya that you can ask us for help, ya know,” he picked up his own mug and took a large drink, fighting the sudden urge to splutter as the strong taste of whiskey overtook his senses. It must’ve been a weekend... Setting the mug back down, he sent you a meaningful look, his eyelights soft. “don’t mind helpin’.”

You waved him off, “I know, I know, ‘it’s what friends are for,’ I just... “ And you missed the little flinch in his sockets, the way his fingers curled in on themselves in his hoodie pocket, because no matter how many times you say something similar, it still hurts every single time. “...I just want to be able to do it on my own merit, you know? I’ve been told this is a waste of time, and I want to prove to myself, and to them, that I can do it.”

The mention of them soured his expression a bit, and it must’ve shown, because you sent him A Look. One that said ‘don’t start’, so he didn’t. Instead he reached for his mug and took another long, slow sip of his Weekend Coffee. When he pulled it away from his mouth again, it was with a small sigh.

“well, i know that you’ll be a great teacher. one the kids’ll love, even that lil shit of a bat.”

“Hey, he’s not that bad…”

“he’s that bad.”

You rolled your eyes and shrugged a shoulder, the shoulder not attached to the coffee mug filled with what tasted like mostly whiskey as you raised it to take a bold gulp of it yourself. “Okay, so, maybe he used to be that bad. But he’s gotten a bit better lately! Even Kupa mentioned it, during our last meeting. Ever since Pico came into the picture, he’s mellowed out a bit.”

Ah, yes, Kupanda. The kindly giant of a giraffe monster who was playing the role of single father to the obnoxious bat Ven, and the baby bat monster Pico. Sans wanted to ask if they drove him ‘batty’, but the last time he did, Kupa launched into a very wordy, very loving rant about how much he loved his children. And as inspirational it was, it left a bit of a sore spot in Sans’ chest, because that was something he was so close to having, a few LOADs ago.

Some part of him felt threatened by Kupa, you had so much in common with him… a kind soul, bravery, a love of kids. Who’s to say that, before you met him in the very first go-around, you and Kupa hadn’t ended up together somehow? Who’s to say you weren’t happier for it?

… Wow, that’s a thought that he’s going to walk away from right now.

“you said somethin’ about pastries?” he blurted out suddenly, though his voice still sounded as laidback as usual, and he felt kind of bad because of how quickly you set your coffee aside and jumped up.

“I completely forgot! Thank you for reminding me, just a sec.”

You padded quickly across the carpet and into the tile of the kitchen, and it was only a few seconds, but somehow you ended up coming back with three plates balanced on your arms. One was full of cinnamon rolls, already doused with thick icing, one was piled high with muffins of different flavors, from the looks of it. The third and final plate had croissants, flaky and buttery and filled with chocolate creme. And even though he wasn’t usually one for sweets, his soul yearned for the food that you had made.

“And I used that stuff you gave me, so you should be able to eat whatever you want! Oh, I also put it in your coffee...obviously.” Your face colors a bit, and he chuckles, a low rumbly sound from deep in his ribcage. He could remember the incident you were no doubt thinking of. The time you made him a drink without Mojo, the special, magical powder mix that made magical beings capable of eating non-magical foods. It had gone right through him, soaking his clothes and the couch he sat on. You’d been so embarrassed, almost to the point of tears… but thankfully he’d been able to make a joke of it. Once he was able to make you let out that watery little giggle, he knew that things would be okay.

“thanks,” was all he said as he took the third, carefully balanced plate so you could set the other two on the coffee table. While he had it, he snagged a muffin off of it and put the plate down with the others. He pinched off a bit of the top and popped it into his mouth, his own secret test to see if the Mojo was used properly. When he ‘swallowed’ it and it dissolved in a burst of magic, he smiled and moved to unwrap the muffin properly.

“You were seeing if I didn’t mess up.”

Uh oh, caught. He glanced up to see your nose wrinkled in that way that made him want to kiss you, and he could feel his cheekbones burn a bit. “think  _ muffin _ of it, i was just seein’ what kind i got.” You let out an ‘mhm’ and reached for a croissant, and he took a large bite of the muffin you’d made. Blueberry, from the tangy and sweet taste spreading across his palate. “it’s  _ berry _ good, by the way.”

The compliment seemed to lighten you up a bit, though he doubted you were actually upset from the beginning, and you smiled at him genuinely.

“Thanks. It’s still amazing to me how mojo doesn’t change the consistency or flavor at all, or how it accentuates and boosts the flavors already there… It’s like--”

“magic?” he cut in, chewing a mouthful of muffin, and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

He raised a brow, “does it still count even if i don’t have to open my mouth to talk?”

“I don’t… huh. I don’t know. I was just always taught to keep my mouth shut while I’m eating. Perks of having a magical voice, I guess?”

You took a large bite of her pastry, chocolate creme oozing out of the sides, and you quickly turned it around to lick up the excess. “I guess I overfilled these,” you said through a mouthful, a hand raising to cover your mouth so he couldn’t see your food. Sans bumped his foot against your knee with a snicker.

“whatever happened to not talking with your mouth full?” A playful glare was sent his way as you quickly chewed and swallowed the massive bite you took.

“Oh hush, you,” you mumbled as you reached for and took a long drink from your coffee. You turned to set it back on the coaster and stretched out your legs, resting them on either side of his, and he moved his knee closer until it rested against your calf, the contact comforting. “So… How have you been? You never answered my question. And how is Papyrus?”

What  _ was _ Papyrus doing around this time during the last load? Did Sans even remember? ...Oh, right.

“he’s stunning everybody in his culinary class at the university. but they’ve officially gotten him to stop putting glitter in his food, so, hey, that’s a plus. he actually had a pretty big thing going on. they had a lock-in of sorts, and spent the night making snacks and watching movies. he texted me this morning to say that the humans were all falling asleep, so he cleaned the kitchen stations all by himself.” Another swig of coffee, and he was thanking his lucky stars that Papyrus had texted him that night, so he had something to read when he woke up.

“Your brother’s the coolest…” you say gently, and he can’t help but smile, his eyelights soft as he looks from his coffee to you.

“yeah, he really is.”

There’s a few beats of silence, but they’re comfortable. They’re always comfortable with you, he’s realized. But he notices easily how you fiddle with your croissant, peeling apart layers and nibbling on the chocolate-coated edges, and he frowns the slightest bit.

“...so, how’ve  _ you _ been doin’? studyin’ not borin’ ya to death yet, is it?”

You let out a nervous chuckle and shrug your shoulders a bit, realizing you’re picking apart your pastry and setting it back on the plate.

“I’ve been...fine. Just, having trouble sleeping lately, I guess. Maybe it’s the stress from the test coming up. It is only a week or so away.”

Not sleeping well? That’s new. Sans’ mouth turned downward a bit further into a more noticeable frown, and, when she saw it, she quickly smiled at him to try and cover up her concern.

“But it’ll be okay. Once I get this test behind me, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just… the dreams I’ve been having, they’re kind of… odd.” There’s more silence, this time charged with some sort of tension that Sans can’t place, and you pick up your coffee cup to take a drink, but instead, you just… stare. Stare for long enough that he’s about to say something, to get your attention, to ask about it, something. But then you look up at him, the color of your eyes feeling more saturated than normal, with flecks of gold toward the center that stand out like sunlight on a forest floor. You’re looking at  _ him _ , but it feels more like you’re looking  _ through _ him.

“...Have you… ever had a dream about...like, a past life?” Sans can’t move, so he doesn’t answer, he’s pinned by that look in your eyes. And just when he thinks he’ll have to come up with some excuse of something to say, you continue. “Because I… I’ve been doing that. ...A lot, lately. Like, things that’ve happened but not in quite the same way. Like how we met… or, what if we were in a… relationship?” Your face colors slightly at that, but that look in your eyes isn’t gone, and you don’t seem done talking yet. “Last night, I had a dream. I woke up in a bed of golden flowers--” Sans feels his soul drop, “-- and I saw Frisk. And… It was like, they weren’t all there? Like something was missing, or something.” The gold in your eyes grows stronger and stronger, brighter and brighter, and even though it’s just a secondary color in your eyes, to him, it’s blinding. He doesn’t like seeing that color there. Not in your eyes. “There was someone else, too, but… I can’t quite remember… It was dark.” Sans feels himself able to move, so he does. “Dark, darker, yet--” His hands land on each of yours on the sides of your coffee mug, where your nails had just been scratching at the ceramic, filling the air with that sound you dislike so much.

The color snaps from your eyes, and soon enough, they’re their natural color again. You look tired, a bit confused, and your face is flushed. “...sounds like you had a heck of a nightmare, kid.”

You stare at him for a few beats longer, pulling a hand away from your mug, but as he goes to remove his hands, you snag one of them in yours. Your fingers intertwine, and you raise his hand to rest against your cheek, still warm from his own coffee.

“...Don’t call me kid.”

His soul did a little flip inside his ribcage, bouncing and pressing against the bar-like ribs of its prison, begging to be let out.

“...Hey…” He glances up from his hand at your cheek to your eyes, which he only just now realized were focused and centered directly on his chest, where his soul lie just beneath. He glanced down and saw the faint glow, and his cheeks warmed considerably with a cyan hue. His hand tried to pull away, but you held fast. “No, don’t. Please…”

This was a mistake, surely.

He released a long sigh, and as he set his coffee to the side, you slowly released your hold of his hand, eyes flickering between the glowing patch beneath his hoodie and his face.

“don’t wanna make this a big deal or nothin’...” he shrugged, though he knew that you knew full and well just how big of a deal this was. He reached, as if grasping at some invisible thread, right in front of his chest, and pulled. Everything felt cold, and the world bled out into greyscale, every sound muted yet enhanced at the same time. He could feel the sweetness in the air from the pastries, could taste the smell of coffee and whiskey.

No matter how many times he’d done this, he never got used to it.

The little inverted heart, white and scarred and pock-marked after years, centuries, of abuse, floated in his palm, and he felt you suck in a sharp breath across from him.

“Oh, Sans…”

He didn’t understand why he still felt that fear, that apprehension of what you’d think, even after all the time you’d spent together, the times you’d been together… but he did.

You reached toward him, and he instinctively pulled back, his soul pressing against his fingers as he cupped his hand around it. Because even though he was unsure, his soul was not, and if he didn’t keep it in check, who knows what would happen. He didn’t want to move too fast. He’d done that in the past, and it ended...badly.

You paused, when he pulled away, and looked deep into his eyes for a few seconds, before moving again, this time much more slowly. You cupped his hand in yours, feeling the cool yet warm magic radiating off of the soul, and a shiver ran down your spine.

“It’s been through so much…” you murmured, and the tone in your voice made him want to cry all of a sudden. Because dammit, he had been through a lot. He continued to go through a lot, to lose a lot… His free hand came up to grasp one of yours, and he allowed the battle-scarred soul to float into your palm. Your head jerked up to look at him, shocked, and he just smiled uneasily. This was a gamble… but it was one he was willing to take.

“H-... how did this happen…? We were just having coffee…” Your tone wasn’t one of complaint, so he just pressed the soul closer into your palm. When it finally made contact, everything froze for a few long seconds… then everything combust.

He shared memories. Memories of kisses over coffee in the mornings, of cuddling on the sofa watching 50 First Dates and 10 Things I Hate About You. Baking things together in the kitchen, his hands on your hips and swaying to an invisible tune. You always hummed while you worked, and one day, he joined you, and memories of you laying on his lap in awe as he sang to you flooded your brain. Everything was warmth, and comfort, and… love. So much love. Memories of his soul, entangled in a brilliant green vine-like marking, and a floating green heart with a cyan marking. Memories of tears, and kisses, and love. Just, love. Always love.

He had to grab hold of your hands to keep you from pressing his soul against your chest, lest you end up causing something you weren’t ready for.

“Sans…” Your voice is choked with emotion and tears, and you open your unseeing eyes to look at him, even as memories still play before you. “I don’t understand... “

When he could tell it became too much, when your breathing hitched and your tears left tracks down your cheeks, he carefully called his soul back into his chest, leaving a faintly glowing spot on his hoodie for a few seconds before it, too, faded away. He reached a sleeve-covered hand up and wiped at your cheeks gently, dabbing around your eyes.

“that’s difficult to explain… you probably wouldn’t understand even if i told ya.”

“My dreams… They’re not dreams, are they?” you whisper, and Sans feels his shoulders slump as he gives a single shake of his drooped head.

“...we’ve met many times before. we’ve done this very thing many times before. we’ve … it always plays out just a little different, but your dreams are more like glimpses into past instances of our lives.”

“Then… why are you only telling me now?” You sound hurt now, and he’s quick to look up and reach for you, grasping your hands and pulling them closer to him. “How is this even possible?”

“dunno... and even more confusin’ is how you’re able to remember, even if it’s just glimpses through dreams. how can you--”

A flash of something in his mind’s eye, deep within his skull, makes him freeze for a second. Blackness, even more dark than the void itself. Dark, darker, yet darker. 

_ * he has to have something to do with this… somehow. _

“Sans…?” He shook his head and gave your hands a small squeeze. “How do I know you’re not just messing with me…?”

“my soul isn’t just messin’, kid. i promise ya that.”

“Then…” You were struggling, admittedly, but then again, who could blame you? You just had multiple lifetimes with the person sitting across from you played before your very eyes, all in the span of about a minute and a half. It was overwhelming.

“look. this doesn’t gotta mean anything… i probably shouldn’t’ve put all that on ya right now, ‘n i’m sorry.” Sans picked up his coffee and took a sip-- it was growing cold, and the whiskey tasted stronger than it had before. He winced and set it back down, reaching for the muffin tray to grab another one. Chocolate chip, this time. He tried to keep his pose and his tone as casual as he could after having just shared his entire being with someone he was desperately in love with.

“You’re sorry…? You can’t just do that and say you’re sorry for doing it!” you cried, sitting up more fully and looking Sans over incredulously. “You just shared your soul with me, and you want to say it doesn’t have to mean anything…? Bullshit.”

He flinched slightly. You never cursed, not when you could help it, so the fact that you did now obviously meant that you were upset. He rolled his shoulders with a shrug, but when he glanced up, you were on your knees, looming over him, and his sockets widened a fraction.

“This is… This is so unfair, Sans…” There were tears in your eyes now, angry ones, and they made your eyes look an even more vivid shade than they did normally. No gold distracting him from your beauty this time, just all you, unfiltered. Magnified. “It’s unfair, and it’s stupid. Why did all of that have to be taken away…?” The last part was whispered, but oh, he heard it loud and clear. He went to speak, but found himself unable, almost as though he had a lump in his non-existent throat. There was a flicker of light from the locket you always wore around your neck, and suddenly your own soul was emerging from between your breasts, shining a vivid forest green. And he felt himself choke up even more, because oh, when was the last time he really, truly got to see this? Your eyes were closed, so whether you realized what happened or not, Sans didn’t know, but suddenly it was floating towards him, towards his ribs, and he had to put his hand up to stop it.

There was a pause, like the calm before the storm… and then, a rush of emotion as the green soul nudged against his palm. Fiery and intense, unlike what Sans was used to. He drew in a sharp breath between his teeth and let his sockets fall closed just as a memory surfaced in his mind’s eye. It was of you, laying in your bed-- what at one point was the bed you two shared, in some loads-- looking around as if searching for something, or someone... 

“It was always so real…” your voice murmured, and it was only then that he could really realize what the main emotion he was feeling was.

Yearning.

A yearning probably even stronger than his own, coursing through him and making his soul shudder in ways he didn’t know it could. There were less memories this time, but more feelings, with little scraps of information attached in his mind.

Intimidation, the day you first met. Uncertainty, when you’d first called him a friend. Jubilation, when he’d first called  _ you _ a friend. Anticipation, at New Years, when you two kissed in the kitchen with the smells of coffee and the voices of your friends counting down. Confusion, when Valentine’s Day came and went and you found yourself with Sans, of all people.

Bewilderment, when you first started having the ‘dreams’. Lust, when you woke up this morning, after having dreamed of you two being intimate, of him rocking into you  as you gripped the sheets and called his name.

Sans flinched only slightly when he felt you rest your forehead against his, nose brushing against his nasal cavity. The warmth of your breath puffed against his teeth, and stars, if that didn’t make him want to lean up and kiss you…

...Anticipation, again. He could feel it.

Gently, he eased your soul back into your chest, until it finally faded back into its place, hidden from view.

He moved to pull away, but you were having none of that. You cupped your hands behind his jaw and pulled gently, until he was looking up at you. You leaned down and pressed your lips to his teeth, and, at first, there was nothing. You pulled away, confused, as Sans sat frozen for a second.

...But only for a second.

The bone of his palms smoothed across your cheeks and pulled you in again, and this time, when your lips connected with him, there was a tiny spark of something, some kind of magical force that sent a gentle pleasure thrumming through you.

Maybe it’s the fact that you both are just freshly confronted, your souls still settling back into your bodies, or maybe it’s the fact that this was just meant to be, but you crawl forward onto his lap halfway through the kiss, whimpering desperately as you try to get closer. Closer to him, to his soul, to everything he is and ever will be. You want to be a part of that, you realize… but it’s too soon to tell.

Sans hooks his hands under your thighs and pulls you closer, feeling just the same way with fewer words to express it. When he parts his jaw and his tongue slides out to test along your bottom lip, you flinch only a little, pulling back just in time to see it… and you lean in and capture it between your lips, swirling your tongue around his with a breathy moan.

He pulls away quickly, groaning deep in his ribcage. “wait wait, hold on, i…” He swallows thickly, his conjured tongue suddenly feeling much too large to be in his own mouth. “gimme a minute….”

You do as he asks, of course, reaching a hand up and scratching along the fused lines and little dips in his skull in a way you’re not sure how you know he likes, but he does. At least, if the way he practically purrs and collapses into you says anything, he likes it.

The emotions slowly begin to calm, and suddenly you find yourself feeling a tad bit embarrassed by your behavior. “I’m, uh… I’m sorry that I--”

“no sorries, kid, please. just … i don’t want this to be… just this.” You cock a brow at that, and he pulls away from your shoulder, his face very well stained a lovely shade of cyan blue. “i mean i… i want this to be… more than where this was goin’.”

And the genuine tone in his voice is enough to make you cry, because, if what you saw meant anything, this is all he’s wanted for a while… so you push your libido aside and sigh a soft breath out your nose.

“I… do, too.” He glances up at you then, almost as if in disbelief, and you send him the warmest smile you can manage, given the situation. “...I want to see where this goes.” His pupils are blown wide and are fuzzy and soft, unfocused for a moment, before they sharpen and become clear again. He leans forward and nudges his forehead against yours, rubbing it back and forth in a slow, soft motion. You chuckle and return the gesture as best you can, your smile widening as you detect the soft purring sound rumbling from deep in his ribcage.

You slowly separate over the course of the next several minutes, returning to your spots on opposite ends of the couch.

“I’ll get us some new coffee. Like mine?” you asked, and he just winked up at you. With a soft roll of your eyes, you got up from the couch, grabbed your mugs, and headed into the kitchen with gentle, padding steps.

When you came back, you handed him his mug, then curled up on the opposite end of the couch, your bare feet tangled together under a soft throw blanket while you watched something mindless on television.

And Sans sighed, feeling his soul lighten for the first time in what felt like a long, long while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is shorter because it's being split up! I didn't want to drone on with all the introductions and whatnot, so I decided that cutting this chapter up would be the best option. I'll try and have the next chapter up by next weekend!

The get-together wasn’t scheduled until after four o’clock… but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t start getting ready and looking nice before then.

 

Sans had left not thirty minutes earlier, at your behest, so you could clean up and get ready. He offered to help you out with cleaning up, which prompted you to stare and ask who he was and what he’d done with Sans. It was on that note that he’d left, with a roll of the soft white lights in his sockets and his hand snagging another blueberry muffin before he cut a doorway through time and space, stepped through, and disappeared with a soft ‘pop’. The smell of ozone mingled with the scent of cinnamon and sugary goodness.

 

“Okay…” You glanced around the room, seeing some misplaced books, coffee mugs on coasters, and plates still piled pretty plentifully with pastries, and you sighed. Better to get these things taken care of now. Afterall, you’d hate to waste the food…

 

Once the cinnamon buns and muffins and croissants were put into containers and placed on the counter in a neat stack, you set to work on scrubbing the now empty plates and the two mugs.

 

As your hands worked, your mind was free, and it wandered over what had just transpired between you and the punning skeleton. He didn’t really even make that many puns, did he? Not during the whole… ordeal… which told you just how serious he really was.

 

You wondered how many times he’d seen and held your soul…

 

You wondered how many times you’d gotten to see his.

 

You could remember your first meeting with him, and how distant he seemed… He looked at you, but it was like he was looking at a different you… a different time. A different place. Now, you supposed, you understood why that was. Your heart ached for him.

 

‘I wonder… what it was like, seeing me for the ‘first time’ all those times… all those lost memories…’

 

You shut off the tap with your wrist, pushing down on the small lever-like handle, and wipe your hands dry on your kitchen towel. It was the one that said “the kitchen is the heart and soul of the home” that your Gran gave you, and you take a few moments to look it over, smoothing out the wrinkles you made with a small smile. You really need to visit her more often. She’s getting old, and you never know how much time you have left… But, ah, your Gran won’t die too easily.  She’d probably wait for Death to arrive and bide her time until she could take him down.

 

...Now that had you thinking about Papyrus dressing as Death for Halloween. He’d probably scare the dickens out of the poor visitors of Taobh. But thinking about Sans dressed in a black cloak and carrying a cheap-o plastic scythe from the toys section of the local halloween store brought a snort from you, and you smiled. He’d be the laziest undertaker.

 

For how hard he works, he sure does put up quite the show that he doesn’t.

 

“Silly Sans…” you breathe, fondness seeping into your voice. You can’t help it. From the day you first met him, you knew that you’d like him. There’s just something about him… something you could never quite place. Then again, maybe it was just the fact that you’d known him before, in a different time…? Who knows.

 

You head out of the now clean kitchen and decide to spend the next few hours cleaning your humble apartment before you need to get ready.

 

* * *

 

Sans flops onto his mattress, the sheets all bundled up at the foot of the bed, and… smiles.

 

That’s all he seems to feel capable of doing right then. He smiles, and it stretches so wide across his face that he can feel his sockets narrowing from the force of his cheekbones pushing up into them.

 

_ “I...do, too.” _

 

Tears gather at the edges of his sockets, and he quickly reaches a hand up to cover them, wiping and smearing them with his palm.

 

_ “...I want to see where this goes.” _

 

Were the two of you dating now? Were you officially a ‘thing’? A couple?

 

...Did it really matter?

 

Just a little bit of that weight, that weight of knowledge, of knowing that the timeline has been skewed… was gone. Sure, you didn’t really understand… not really. You could never fully understand. But… you wanted to. You wanted to try and be with him, even if it meant it could all be taken away again.

 

Which… it could. It was incredibly likely, in fact.

 

His smile didn’t fade, though, and he used his sleeve to wipe away his tears and pushed himself to sit up on the bed. He glanced around his room and it was only then that he grimaced slightly, looking to the trash tornado in the corner, the treadmill in the center of the room… It had been set up much like his room underground. All a trick just to fool the kid. Frisk had tripped over the treadmill on their way to flip the lights on and gave him the most indignant stare that he’d laughed about it for at least five minutes. (And then, when Frisk came back over later, he’d laughed again. Papyrus asked if he was going insane, and though Sans couldn’t answer, Frisk made sure to insist that he was.)

 

“welp,” he said out to the space surrounding him, right hand shoving deep into his hoodie pocket while his left hand raised to his side. He snapped his fingers loudly and his left socket glowed in a blaze of cyan, magic licking along the side of his skull like flames, and everything in his room began to float.

 

If he was going to go ahead and clean up his room, he might as well rearrange the furniture while he was at it, right?

 

The mattress floated gently into the corner of the room, bumping up against the wall before settling on the carpet. His dresser and end table and desk and treadmill followed suit, going to their own proper places within the room. The trash and laundry separated, the laundry going into the hamper near the closet, and trash flying into the bin by his desk.

 

“huh, guess papyrus was right. it really did only take me a second.” He snickered and the blaze of energy subsided slowly and, when he blinked, his socket was its usual glowing white light once again.

 

“SANS?? SANS, ARE YOU IN HERE?” The sound of Papyrus’ heavy steps walking up the stairs followed his voice, which was just as boisterous as usual. Sans had only enough time to turn to the door before there was a knock. It quickly flew open and Papyrus stooped into the room, ducking his head to avoid hitting it on the doorframe. “OH, GOOD, YOU ARE HERE!” His sockets bugged out a bit as he glanced around the room. “YOU… YOU CLEANED YOUR ROOM?”

 

Sans shrugged his shoulders and scuffed his slipper against the carpet. “ayyyyy--”

 

“WHY, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, BROTHER!!” Papyrus stomped across the room, and Sans just raised his arms as his brother scooped him up into a bone-crushing (though not literally, thank goodness!) hug. “WHAT IS THE OCCASION? WHAT ON EARTH FINALLY GOT YOU TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM ALL ON YOUR OWN?”

 

“‘m an adult monster, paps. i know how to clean, y’know.”

 

Papyrus set his brother down carefully, far more carefully than he’d picked him up, and dusted himself off. “YES, BUT YOU HAVEN’T CLEANED THIS ROOM IN…” He grimaced, “GOODNESS, I DON’T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW LONG. BUT YOU DID IT!! AND YOU EVEN PUT YOUR LAUNDRY IN THE HAMPER, AND NOT JUST AROUND IT LIKE YOU USUALLY DO!” His sockets narrowed and he pointed a gloved hand at Sans. “AND DON’T YOU DARE MOVE EVEN A SINGLE SOCK NOW THAT I’VE SAID SOMETHING!”

 

Sans was caught red- or rather, blue handed, with a soft glow of cyan magic surrounding his left hand and emanating from his left eye socket in flame-like motions. The sock in question was floating just above the hamper. When Papyrus pointed at him, however, he cut off the magic immediately and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“me? i’d never.”

 

“MMHMM… ANYWAY. WHAT IS THE OCCASION? I AM UNDEAD TO KNOW!! (Get it? It would obviously not be ‘dying’ because I am a skeleton! Nyeh heh heh.)”

 

Sans wanted to ask how his brother could verbalize parentheses, but decided against it. His brother was just that great, afterall. And there was another, much more pressing matter that he was also figuratively dying to tell. He moseyed over to his mattress and sat down, gripping the edge with bony fingers  as the bright lights in his sockets edged around the room, looking anywhere but Papyrus.

 

“well... there was somethin’ that kinda happened this mornin’, but, i dunno if you really wanna hear all the details--”

 

He wasn’t sure when Papyrus crossed the room (then again, with his long legs, it was only two steps to get there anyway), but he was suddenly in his brother’s face, sockets doing that thing where they sparkle and glow, and holy shit, he needed to confiscate his brother’s MTT Brand Anime Powder as soon as possible. “NORMALLY I WOULD GO ALONG WITH THIS LITTLE CHARADE AND PRETEND AS THOUGH THIS WASN’T THE ONLY THING IN THE WORLD I WANT TO HEAR RIGHT NOW, BUT ALAS, I HAVEN’T THE PATIENCE FOR IT. TELL ME, PLEASE.”

 

Sans chuckled and pulled away a bit, his sockets having gone crossed from having a face shoved so close to his own. Now that he could see Papyrus more clearly, he shrugged his shoulders.

 

“DON’T YOU DO ALL THAT BUILD UP AND THEN ACT LIKE IT’S ACTUALLY NOTHING!”

 

“i mean, i dunno, paps… ya might not like it.”

 

A gloved hand landed on his shoulder, and Sans glanced from it to his brother’s face, which had, surprisingly, become far more serious. “SANS. I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU THIS HAPPY IN… WELL, IN A LONG TIME. WHATEVER IT IS, I KNOW I’LL LIKE IT, IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.”

 

A pang went through the elder skeleton’s soul and he couldn’t help but smile genuinely, dropping his act completely with a sigh. “well... ya know how i told ya about the uh… past lives?”

 

Papyrus’ smile twitched a bit, and he looked a tad uncomfortable, but he nodded. “YES, I AM AWARE OF THEM.”

 

Sans breathed a sigh of relief. Because, in all honesty, he hadn’t actually remembered if he’d told Papyrus yet about them… this, at the very least, makes things a whole lot easier. “right. well, i, uh…” How to breach this topic was tricky, but, after a few long moments, when Papyrus started fidgeting with pent up energy next to him, he decided to just go for it. “i told her. about everything.”

 

“...WHAT? HER?” It took him a second, a second that caused Sans existential panic because did there already happen to be another load where Papyrus didn’t know who she was??? But no, recognition registered in his eye sockets, and the most giddy grin spread across his face as his gloved hands pressed together. “ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU’RE NOT JOKING, ARE YOU? BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE YOUR MOST UNFUNNY JOKE YET!”

 

“yeah, i… i’m serious, bro. i did it. i told her how i felt.” Heat warmed his cheekbones and he glanced away, “well, showed her, really.”

 

A scandalous gasp from Papyrus, one that made the cyan blush burn brighter, and he hunched down into his hood.

 

“I. CAN’T. BELIEVE IT. YOU...SHOWED HER YOUR SOUL?” Sans nodded, and Papyrus let out the softest, highest pitched sound Sans ever heard him make. (Probably ever since Dogamy and Dogaressa had their puppies, at least.) “SAAAANS!! I’M SO-- ahem. I’m… Really Happy For You, Brother. Truly.” He put his hand heavily on Sans’ shoulder, prompting his brother to look over at him, and the warmth and love in his wide smile was just… it made him feel incredibly lucky.

 

“heh... thanks, bro. you’re the coolest.”

 

“BUT OF COURSE!!” He stood upright suddenly, scarf billowing in an invisible breeze-- wait, when did the window open? “ONLY THE BEST FOR MY BROTHER! WHICH IS WHY…” Papyrus turned to Sans with a neutral expression. “If She Hurts You… I Want You To Let Me Know.”

 

“wha-... heh, no worries there, paps. trust me, she’s exactly what the doctor ordered.”

 

He felt a tiny chill go down his spine, hands raised to gesture lazily, though inside he was rolling. In a way, he understood it. To Papyrus, you were what had caused a lot of his most recent pain… or, rather, the lack of you. But it was more than obvious that he was happy for his brother, and that came with a certain amount of trust. Sans was certain you wouldn’t betray that trust, even by accident. And he tried to convey that with his lazy smile and expression.

 

“... OKIE DOKIE!” Papyrus held a hand out and, once Sans took it, pulled his brother to his feet. “WELL, WE HAD BEST GET READY, THEN. HER BIRTHDAY PARTY IS THIS EVENING.” He took note of his brother’s silence and raised a brow ridge. “YOU DID GET HER SOMETHING, DIDN’T YOU?” Sans made a weak noise, and Papyrus scooped him up. “FEAR NOT, BROTHER! FOR I, THE GREAT AND GENEROUS PAPYRUS, WILL HELP YOU PICK OUT FOR HER THE MOST PERFECT PRESENT! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

 

* * *

 

“Thank you for coming! I am so grateful you were able to make it!” Toriel took the offered casserole dish from the human with Grillby, taking a moment to look her over while their hands touched. She had long brown hair that could only be described as ‘poofy’ with curls, her skin the color of warm terra-cotta that contrasted brilliantly with the soft white, flowing top and dark violet skirt. She was barefoot, oddly enough, though Toriel couldn’t really find it all that odd as she went around the same way all the time. When she looked back up, it was to meet a pair of golden brown eyes that looked more through her than at her, though not in an insolent or rude way. Toriel offered a paw to shake hands, and as soon as they came in contact with one another, she could feel the untapped energy coursing through her.

 

Grillby tapping on the ex-Queen’s shoulder broke the connection, and Toriel was quick to pull away, tucking the dish beneath her arm and waving the couple along. “Go on, now. We cannot make it a surprise party if everyone is still arriving when our guest of honor is meant to come!”

 

The monster of flame began to sign something, but the woman spoke up before he could hardly begin. “Thank you, my Queen. And…” She smiled, a smile so full of tranquility that Toriel herself felt as though everything would be alright. “...it is an honor to meet you, Miss Toriel. You can call me Violet.” She grabbed Grillby’s hand without any inkling of fear and led him into the main area where the gathering was taking place.

 

The soft scent of herbs, floral and fragrant, lingered in the air wherever the human woman walked, and Toriel was suddenly glad that they made the party take place in the school’s auditorium.

 

“Heyyyy Tori!” The troubling thoughts forming in the regal monster’s mind were banished by a familiar voice calling for her. She turned to see Undyne dragging Alphys and another human woman.

 

“Undyne! It is so good to see you. As it is to see you, Alphys.” She looked down at the lizard-like monster with a kind smile, which Alphys reacted to as usual. She sweat and gave a small wave, stuttering under her breath about how the feeling was mutual. “And… I am sorry, but I do not believe we have met yet! You must be the one Undyne was going on about so much.”

 

The human’s cheeks glowed with a burgundy blush, though her smile was wide and bright, just like Undyne’s. The fishwoman’s cheeks glowed a blotched mixture of teal and blue, and the human just threw an arm around the both monsters.

 

“Tina Smith. It’s awesome to finally meet you, too, Missus T!” Her umber-brown skin glowed with the light coming from inside the gymnasium, her black hair full of kinks and curls, all pulled back into a scrunchy bun. She looked as though she had just come from the gym which, from what she’d heard about Tina from Undyne, would seem to fit.

 

“Well, it is a delight to meet you! Frisk was looking for you earlier, Alphys. They said that there was something they wished to speak with you about their cellular phone.”

 

This perked Alphys up and she looked up from her claws to nod at Toriel, bustling off into the group of people in the gymnasium with Undyne in tow. Tina just sighed fondly and started to walk after them, but Toriel put a paw on her shoulder. That same undercurrent of untapped energy dwelled beneath her paw, but she ignored it and instead leaned in a bit closer.

 

“Take care of them, will you not?”

 

Tina blinked in surprise, then gave her a reassuring grin. “Hey, no worries. I’ll take care of them like they’re my own flesh and blood.”

 

And Toriel knew. She knew what some humans did to their own flesh and blood, but she said nothing. Instead she just gave her shoulder a little pat before urging her inside the gym. Once the doors closed behind her, Toriel sighed and wiped her paw on her dress, clutching at it lightly.

 

‘Thank the stars Asgore was not the one welcoming people at the door…’

  
  
  


“MISS TORIEL!”

 

She was a graceful monster, but to say Toriel jumped would have been an understatement. The fur along the back of her neck stood upright, and she was quick to reach back and smooth it down as she turned to see who it was. Obviously, it was Papyrus.

 

“Ah, Papyrus. So nice to see you, dear.” She looked the skeleton monster all over before leaning to peek behind him. “Is Sans not with you?”

 

“NO!!!” he exclaimed, rather excitedly, before making a noise as though he were clearing his throat. “I MEAN, NO. HE DECIDED TO BE THE ONE TO BRING THE HUMAN TO HER PARTY! I VOLUNTEERED, BUT, YOU KNOW, MY BROTHER IS SO LAZY, I DECIDED HE NEEDED TO DO IT HIMSELF.” Magical sweat unnecessarily beaded along his skull, and Toriel simply chuckled to herself.

 

“Well that was quite noble of him. I am sure he will be dragging his feet the whole way!” she teased, reaching an arm out to push the door open for Papyrus. “By the way, Papyrus, you are looking quite dapper this evening, if I may say so.”

 

The skeleton looked down at himself, in his orange pinstripe suit complete with hat, and he beamed. “WHY THANK YOU, MISS TORIEL! I HAD OUR VERY TALL FRIEND MAKE THIS SUIT FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS! IT IS QUITE DIFFICULT TO FIND THINGS THAT FIT IN STORES WHEN YOU ARE MY SIZE!”

 

“I can understand why it would be so difficult,” she nodded, gesturing to herself. “Kupanda made my formal wear I am wearing for tonight as well. He is quite skilled as a tailor!” Papyrus ducked under the door frame and raised his hand in a small wave.

 

“WELL, I’M OFF TO FIND FRISK! MAKE SURE WE KNOW WHEN TO COME OUT AND SHOUT ‘SURPRISE’! I WILL BE THE LOUDEST ONE, I’LL MAKE SURE OF IT!”

 

“Like HELL you PUNK! I’M gonna be the loudest! NGAHHH!!”

 

“NO! NO!! DO NOT NOOGIE THE SKELETON! ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS WEARING SUCH A GREAT HAT!!”

 

The doors swung closed and Toriel chuckled heartily, pressing her paw against the glass as her eyes swept over the crowd. Tina and Frisk were arm wrestling while cheering on Undyne and Papyrus respectively, Alphys watching fretfully with two cellular phones in her clawed hands. Grillby and his human ‘companion’ were talking with a group of Vegetoids and Pyropes, who refused to stand too close to one another. Quite the opposite of Violet and Grillby. They both seemed to constantly be touching, regardless of what they were doing or who they were talking to. In her eyes, it seemed quite obvious that they were courting, at the very least, but some humans were just more...touchy, than others. It was a surprise for Grillby, however, to be acting this way. With a human, no less!

 

_ Bzz Bzz _

 

Toriel pulled out her phone from her dress pocket and flipped it open, checking to see what the message said.

 

> [from sans]: turning on main.

 

She quickly stowed her phone and bustled inside, shushing everyone before turning out the lights. Grillby and the Pyropes all moved to hide behind the bleachers, but their light was still quite obvious from the outside. Violet chuckled and pulled Grillby’s arm into her chest, pressing into him lightly, and his flames only burned brighter.

 

“Alright everyone,” Asgore’s low voice rumbled, even in a whisper, it filled the large room. “Get ready.”

 

Toriel moved to stand next to him, behind the cake table, and only flinched a little when she felt his massive hand move to take hers. She gave it a quick squeeze before pulling away.

 

“3… 2… 1…”

The doors swung open, and two figures stepped inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Sorry for the wait! I'm trying to pace myself so I don't have another burnout. Because I still have a LOT of story to tell, and I really want to be able to tell it to you all!! I want to share with you what the story inside my head is! So updates may be a little slow, but I promise I'll try my best to make each update worth the wait.

Even though he had no stomach to speak of, Sans sauntered down the sidewalk with butterflies in his, soul all a flutter in his chest. And why wouldn’t it? He was just on his way to pick up the love of his, and every, life, the woman who owned his very soul… It wasn’t a date. (Not yet, anyway, he told himself.) But it was a day to celebrate you, and damn it all, he was going to make sure that, come the end of the night, you knew exactly how loved and cherished you were.

 

He’d left early from his apartment, cutting a doorway through space into the center of the park a few blocks away from your place. It was nice, walking every so often, even though he was all for taking his ‘shortcuts’ whenever possible. Besides, he felt like he needed the opportunity to slow his racing mind, calm the twitterpated feeling in his soul. Because today was important. If he screwed up, it might reflect badly on your relationship together… not that he knew what exactly that relationship was right now. But still! He had hope, and he had the most perfect gift, and even though he knew material things weren’t the way to win your heart, something told him that this particular gift would make you happy.

 

And really, what else was there for him to possibly want?

 

“Sans!”

 

His name being called out startles him enough that he missteps, stumbling a bit for just a second before looking in the sound’s direction. His gaze cast upwards to one of the apartment building’s third story windows, where you were leaning out and waving an arm. His face immediately broke into a huge grin, eye sockets crinkling at the edges as he pulled a hand from his hoodie pocket to wave back. This prompted a bright, beaming smile from you, and Sans felt that twitterpated feeling increase just a little bit.

 

“I’m almost ready! Wait right there!” you called out, and though he had kind of wanted to be back in your apartment again, he nodded his agreement and watched as you disappeared behind a closing window to get ready.

 

Once he reached the actual building, he leaned against the thick glass next to the automatic sliding doors and pulled out his phone. His bony phalanges tapped and clicked against the smooth screen, scrolling through social media endlessly as he waited. Though his eyes moved with each article and post that appeared, his mind was somewhere else entirely.

 

What was she going to look like? Would she go casual? She’d probably go casual. Was he overdressed? He paused to look down at himself, at his dark wash jeans, untied, short-laced sneakers, and galaxy hoodie that she’d gotten for him at their trip to NASA. (Was it a trip to NASA? Or did she see it online and know he’d love it? The details kind of blurred together, sometimes.)

 

The doors slid open beside him and he glanced that way, only to see a familiar feline. “oh, sup bp?” The cat monster looked over at him, his face drawing into a tight smile. Sans chuckled, “your boss ain’t around, y’know. no need for the formalities.”

 

“Yeah, I know, I just feel like he’ll show up out of nowhere if I ever drop my guard.” His exhausted tone matched the face his expression fell into when he released the tight-lipped smile, eyes falling half-lidded. Burgerpants looked Sans over then, with a slight smile, jerked his head up toward the building. “Waiting on bud up there? She said she’d be down in a sec.”

 

“ah, yeah, just, y’know…” Sans shrugged his shoulders, giving him a lazy grin. “Waitin’.”

 

BP raised a brow and pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket, other hand patting himself down in search for a lighter. When he found it, he gave it a quick flick and the flame jumped to life, lighting the end of the cig. He flicked it closed and returned it to his pocket, taking a long draw from the cigarette before breathing out smoke in the shape of a heart, giving Sans a smirk and a sidelong glance.

 

The skeletal monster felt sweat bead along his temple but he otherwise held his ground, not saying nor doing anything to give away anything. When Burgerpants finally looked away, it was with a knowing smirk as he pulled his sunglasses off the collar of his t-shirt and slipped them on.

 

“Well, you keep waitin’. She’ll be out soon. And, hey…” Burgerpants lowered his glasses. “...Good luck. I’m happy for you.” He pushed them back up with a clawed finger and took another drag off his cigarette as he turned and made his way toward the park, the direction Sans had just come from.

 

“you aren’t going?” Sans motioned toward the opposite direction, but Burgerpants just shook his head.

 

“Nah. Already gave her my gift. I’m not one for crowds… Besides, heard there’s an audition open in the city. Don’t wanna be late.” He raised a hand over his shoulder in a wave that Sans didn’t bother to return.

 

Once he was out of sight, Sans pulled his phone back up and kept scrolling.

 

The doors slid open again, but he was so deep in thought that he seemed to miss it. When he felt you tap on his shoulder, he tensed, turning to look with his trademark smile.

 

His sockets widened and his jaw dropped when he saw you standing there.

 

You’d dressed in something other than your typical comfortable wear of jeans and long-sleeved shirts. A forest green sweater dress, one that reached mid-thigh, with cream leggings and black Mary Jane flats. It clung to your figure nicely, though it was just enough for it to be tasteful.You’d done your makeup in more of a minimalist style, and your hair was done just enough for it to still look natural.

 

You chuckled, and reached out to tap him on the bridge of his nasal bone with your index finger. “Heart eyes, really?” Sans’ eyelights had, indeed, turned into small white hearts floating within the darkness of his sockets. His cheekbones flushed a deep blue and he blinked, reaching up to rub at his closed sockets with the heels of his hands. You just laughed and took his hands, gently pulling them away from his face. “No, don’t! I like them that way.”

 

The fluttering turned into a full-on buzz, and he could see from beneath the edge of his vision that he was glowing, and holy shit, this was embarrassing yet in the same breath not.

 

“heh, well, i guess you gave me a--”

 

“A heart-on?” you interrupt with a smile, and the hearts in his sockets beat once as a small pulse of light glows from within his hoodie.

 

God damn, did he love this human…

 

“Ugh, that one was pretty obvious, but it’s still so bad…” The lifted corners of your mouth hitch just a tad higher, and you glance over at him with a wink. “So bad it’s good, right?”

 

“heheh…” The higher-than-usually-pitched chuckle threw them both off-guard, and he cleared his throat needlessly and tried again. “i, uh, yeah. totally.”

 

“...Hey.” You frowned slightly, concern touching your eyes as you turned to him fully, putting your hands on his shoulders. You had to look down just slightly to be able to see his face. But Sans had long since gotten over his insecurities about his height in your relationship. “Sans, are you okay? You seem--”

 

“nervous?” He chuckled at the miffed expression on your face (he knew how you hated being interrupted), shrugging his shoulders and shoving his phone into his hoodie pocket. “maybe a little.”

 

“Don’t be. It’s just me, right? Nothing to be nervous about.”

 

And… honestly, you were right. He knew that, but having it said to him by you, of all people, helped solidify that fact in his mind. The jitters, the twitterpatedness, the nervousness… all of it was unnecessary. Afterall, this was you. The human he’d vowed to spend every single life with. A sense of peace washed over him. ‘and she’s agreed to try this crazy relationship thing with me again… even knowing that it could all be taken away again.’

 

“yeah.” He laced his fingers with yours and squeezed gently, delighting in the way your face lit up with a soft blush. “can’t really say i got a bad case of nerves when i haven’t got any.” You roll your eyes, and he pushes on. “hey, how come the skeleton didn’t ask the girl out?”

 

Frowning softly and brow raised, you glance over at him. “...Why?”

 

“because,” he drawled, a smile tugging up at the corners of his mouth, “he didn’t have the guts.”

 

“Ughh,” you groaned as you shoved his shoulder gently with your free hand, head lolling to one side. “That was cheap one-ply toilet paper.”

 

Sans furrowed his brow slightly for just a second, then his eye lights lit up just before you turned to him with a smug grin on your face.

 

“Tearable.”

“tearable?”

 

You both spoke at the same time, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. The wind blew past, chill and smelling of wet leaves, and you rub your arms with a shiver. Sans immediately moved to unzip and slip off his hoodie, his black t-shirt pulling up just slightly before he readjusted himself. He held it out to you, open, with a shrug.

 

“You don’t have to…” you say as you’re already sliding your arms into the jacket, pulling its galaxy-printed fabric closer to yourself. When you look over at him, it’s with a loving look of gratefulness that makes his cheekbones flush. “Thank you.”

 

“eh, fuggedaboudit.” He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and gave another shrug, “i don’t really feel the cold the same way you do. besides, i’d hate for ya to turn into a small pepper.”

 

“... You mean a little chili?”

 

“gotcha.” His grin is infectious, and despite the horrible puns, you can’t help but smile along with him. You take hold of his elbow and slide your arm through his until they’re linked, even though you have to bend slightly at the waist sideways for it to work.

 

“Then we better get inside quickly, huh?”

 

The two of you started off down the sidewalk toward the great unknown… well, to you, it was unknown. Sans was the only one who really knew where you were going.

 

“Soooo, Grillby’s?” you offered with a smile, and he snorted.

 

“nah, not this time. i got someplace special in mind.”

 

“Oooh, someplace special, huh? Hmmm…” You tap your chin in thought, fighting the smile from your lips as you attempt to look thoughtful. You gasp. “Are you taking me to the mall food court to propose to me with an onion ring?”

 

“wh-what?” He misstepped a bit, stumbling and pulling you a bit to the right on the sidewalk, and you giggle when you catch sight of the glow on his face.

 

“Oh my goodness, you were, weren’t you?! How scandalous, Mr. The Skeleton.”

 

The skeletal monster snorted and bust out laughing, deep, rolling sounds that made your tummy and your soul do flip-flops.

 

“no need to get saucy on me. afterall, took me a long time to mustard up the courage to propose.” You fight back a chuckle and roll your eyes, moving to pull away from him, but he grabbed your elbow, keeping you close. “aw c’mon, don’t go, kid--”

 

“Don’t. Call me kid,” you mutter, eyeing him, and his grin is apologetic.

 

“what, would ya prefer babe?”

 

_ Th-thump. _

 

“...heheh, ahh, sorry.” That familiar grating sound of bone on bone fills the space between you, Sans scratching at the back of his skull with his free hand. “look. ...i don’t- don’t want this to be awkward or anything.” He gradually slows to a stop, making you stop with him, and you feel your cheeks heat up when he looks up at you, a shy smile on his face. His eyelights are the softest you’ve ever seen them, fuzzy and blown out. Relaxed.

 

You didn’t notice him leaning up towards you until you felt teeth pressed to your lips, that familiar spark of magic igniting across them and making them tingle pleasantly. If you were anywhere else, you might have pulled away, told him to wait for another time, but… you were home. You were in Taobh, the city of monsters. No one was around, the streets empty, but not in a disconcerting sense. So you leaned into him, returning the kiss.

 

When you finally break apart, you feel a little breathless...and apparently so does Sans, if the way he draws in a slow, deep breath means anything at all. The hearts return to his sockets, and you chuckle, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his skull.

 

“Babe works fine.”

 

The two of you laughed and told jokes and talked the whole way to your destination, Sans casually fishing his phone out of his pocket and typing out a message to Toriel with his right hand. After a few misspellings and corrections, he hit send, the telltale little checkmark on the corner of the message signifying that it was sent.

 

[from sans]: turning on main

 

“Hm? What’s up?” you ask, and he’s quick to stow his phone back in his jeans pocket, rolling his shoulders with a shrug.

 

“nothin’ worth worryin’ yourself over. just a message from tori.”

 

“Oh…” You frown the slightest bit, watching his face for a moment before letting out a slow breath. It was now or never, you supposed. “So…” He makes a small humming sound and glances up at you, showing you have his attention. “What… um. What are...we?” He looks at you fully now, and you feel your cheeks heat from embarrassment. “I mean, I… I’m just not sure, um… what, ah, what we are now? I mean, has anything...changed?”

 

He stops walking, and you jerk to a stop as well, heart racing as you worry. Did you just step over a line that you weren’t supposed to cross yet? What if Sans didn’t want to put a name to it  yet? Was this something that was meant to be more casual..? But, but no! His soul told you everything you need to know about how he feels… His soul wouldn’t lie.

 

You’re so distracted by your thoughts that you don’t notice him reaching his free hand up to your face, cupping your cheek, and you start slightly.

 

“we can be whatever you want to be.”

 

And there it was, that guarded look in his sockets again. But you remember the glowing from within his hoodie, and the loving look in his heart-shaped eyelights, and you swallow down your doubts as a question raises, burning and urgent, in your throat.

 

“But… Sans, what do  _ you _ want?” Your voice wavers the slightest bit, but it doesn’t lessen the impact of the question, if the way his sockets blow wide has anything to say about it.

 

“what... i want…?” He leans up on his toes and presses his teeth to your cheek, fingers caressing the side of your face. “i just want you. ‘s all i want…” His voice is barely above a whisper, low and smooth, and when he pulls away, it’s so slowly that you could have sworn he was going to go in for a real kiss… but he doesn’t. Instead he unlinks your arms and intertwines your fingers, your hands hanging between the two of you as he gently starts leading you  down the sidewalk again.

 

Though, inside, you’re a mess of emotions.

 

He wants you…? What exactly does that mean? That he’d be happy with any arrangement, so long as he got to have you? And what does ‘having you’ entail, exactly?

 

His hand squeezed yours, and you heard a voice inside your head: “Heart, Mind, Body, and SOUL.”

 

“we’re here.”

 

You look up and realize you’ve made it all the way past Muffet’s Bakery to the school. The lights were all out, but there was a soft candle-like glow coming from inside. Maybe a candle-lit dinner in the auditorium…? A small smile pulls up at the corners of your mouth and you squeeze his hand in return.

 

Sans takes the lead, pushing the door open and ushering you inside with a hand rested on the small of your back. (You try not to think too much about how your heart flutters from the gesture. You fail.)

 

“It’s awfully dark…” You squint and try to see in the dark, only able to make out vague shapes. ...Wait, shapes?

 

The lights flick on, and an auditorium full of people jump up from their hiding places.

 

“SURPRISE!!!”

 

You jump back and bump into Sans, who just takes your hand, resting his free hand on your lower back and guiding you forward. Your other hand raises to cover your mouth, already feeling tears welling up as you look around.

 

Everyone… Literally everyone was here.

 

Well… almost.

 

You glance around and are unsurprised yet still somehow hurt to see your parents are not present. A squeeze to your hand brings you back, though, and you glance over to see Sans smiling up at you. You look from him, to the group of people eagerly waiting in front of you… and the brightest grin breaks out across your face.

 

“Oh, my friend, I am so glad to see you made it!” Toriel approaches first, reaching out for a hug, but is beaten to it by Frisk. The child practically tackles your waist and hangs there, face pressed against your stomach. You feel warmth seeping through your sweater, but ignore it, reaching down to pat them on the head. As you smooth their hair back, they look up at you, golden-brown eyes full of tears.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, Frisk...” You don’t know why, but you felt the need to say that… and it worked, because Frisk wiped at their eyes with a sleeve and smiled up at you. “There’s my bud.” Toriel looks on, concern knitting her brow, but that expression is quickly wiped away as you step forward, Frisk still attached to your waist, and hug her tightly. “Thank you so much.”

 

Toriel sweeps you (and Frisk) up into her large arms and hug you close to her chest, and you’re overwhelmed with that warm and fuzzy feeling, like you’re getting a hug from mom. (You never felt that feeling with your own mother...but you’re happy to have it regardless.) “Think nothing of it, my friend! We simply wanted to help celebrate a wonderful person who has done so much for us and our community.”

 

“Besides,” Asgore’s rumbling voice came from behind Toriel, and a massive paw reaches down to ruffle your hair. “You are as good as family.” You let out a small whine and reach up to fix your hair as best you could, the welling tears spilling over. Thank goodness you didn’t put on much makeup…

 

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

 

“just say ‘okay.’” Sans circled around the little hug group as Toriel gently set you down, and when he looked up at you, it was with a smile you’d never quite seen on his face before. Hopeful, and bright. Your stomach does flip-flops and you smile back without even having to think about it.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything~” The cool, smooth voice of Muffet came from beside you, and you quickly look up at her, only flinching a little bit when one of her little spider monsters jumps over to your shoulder to nuzzle your cheek. “But the cake will surely taste better when it is freshest, no? The little darlings and I worked hard to make it, after all… Ahuhu~”

 

The scent of cake hung in the air, cloying and sweet, and when you turned to look at the cake table, your eyes widened in shock. Muffet simply giggled and grabbed two cake servers so she could begin plating up the baked treat.

 

“It’s… huge! It must’ve taken you forever to make this…”

 

It was pretty impressive, to say the least… Two tiers, and almost as big as the table. But Muffet just looked it over then waved one of her free hands, as though it were nothing.

 

“Think nothing of it, dearie~. It helps when you have a few extra hands, ahuhuhu!” She handed off a plate and fork to you with one hand, the cake heavy and dense on the plate. When you took it, you were surprised, though, by how light it actually felt. The smell was incredible, and your mouth watered to the point where you couldn’t help but take a small bite off the corner of the piece.

 

Bliss.

 

Despite how dense the cake was, it was moist and almost melted in your mouth. And the icing! You needed to get her recipe, though you doubt she’d ever give it to you. The sweet and tangy taste of lemon came from the buttercream, and it was nice and refreshing without being too sweet. You quickly take another few bites until you hear Muffet giggle again. When you look up, she’s looking on approvingly, almost looking flattered, and you glance over to Sans, who looks just as amused.

 

“It’s, uh… This is really, really good, Muffet. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome, dearie…”

 

Her smile towards you sours when she notices someone walking up behind you, and you have only that small warning before arms drape around your shoulders. The smell of herbs and smoke permeate the air, and you smile, using your free hand to grab hold of one of the arms.

 

“I’m glad you could make it, Violet.” You’re released from the from-behind hug and Violet walks around to your front, between you and Muffet. (You catch a glimpse of a positively disgusted expression on the spider monster’s face, but it’s gone before you can blink.) “How is Gran doing? I see she couldn’t get here…”

 

“Oh. She’s fine, no worries. Just, very tired, lately. As much as she’d like to stay up with the Moon and dance beneath her light, her medications make her sleepy.” She brushes back a curly lock of her dark brown hair, and you snort.

 

“Are you sure that’s not what  _ you’d _ like to do, Vi?”

 

“... Perhaps,” she said softly, smile full of a mysterious air. When Grillby approached her from behind, your eyes lit up, and you smiled up at the fiery monster.

 

“Oh, Grillby! Thank you for coming!”

 

He nodded and raised his hands, but Violet grabbed hold of one of them and spoke instead. “‘I would not miss it for the world’... right?” she asked, glancing over at him, and he nodded.

 

“Yes. Happy Birthday.” His voice was smokey sounding, deep and rich, and, surprised, your eyes widened. Violet’s brown skin lit up, turning a richer shade just above her cheekbones, and you looked between the two of them for a moment before a smile broke out.

 

“Are you two--”

 

Violet grabbed your free hand, squeezing hard, and shook her head. So it was a secret… You supposed you could live with that. For now. You’d definitely be texting her later asking for all the details.

 

“NGAAAAHHH!!!” Sans moved to one side and took your cake, and before you could question why, you were practically tackled by a blur of blue skin and red hair.

 

“Undyne,” you gasp, patting her shoulder in an attempt to get her to let you go. “I can’t...breathe…”

 

“Hah! And here I thought that bag of bones was the only thing that could take your breath away!” Her voice was loud, as always, but she was making an attempt at being quieter… so you guess you could let her get away with that comment, even if it turned a few heads. She set you down and you gasped for breath, smoothing out the wrinkles in your sweater dress.

 

“... Oh! Your hair!” you cry, reaching up and running your fingers over the tight braids running along her scalp. She ducks down so you can do so, chuckling.

 

“Yep. Tina did an awesome job if you ask me!” The human in question stepped out from around Undyne, giving a little wave then resting her hands on her hips. Her hands, you noticed, were wrapped in bandages, meaning she probably just got done at the gym. You smile at the human across from you and nod.

 

“You did, Undyne looks amazing! And I’m so glad to see you!” Tina throws an arm out and pulls you in close to her chest, which was solid, strong. And warm. Tina was always warm, you noticed. She was the type to wear gym shorts in the winter and still complain about it being too warm. “Where’s Alphys?” you question, looking around for the short lizard monster. Undyne rolled her eye and jerked a thumb toward the bleachers which, now that you look, Alphys was sitting on with a cellphone in her hand, a screwdriver in the other. “Ahh…”

 

“Yeah. She’s done really well with being in social situations, just, sometimes it gets overwhelming for her. She’s happy to be here, though,” Tina piped up, and Undyne threw an arm around her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The human slid her arm around the fish woman’s waist, pulling her in until their sides were touching.

 

You clasp your hands in front of your mouth to hide your ecstatic smile, and the dark blushes on their faces make you squeal lightly.

 

“ANYWAY!! Yeah. Happy Birthday, now ‘scuse me while I get us some cake!” Undyne pulled Tina around you, and you just waved as you turned to find Sans.

 

Who had disappeared suddenly.

 

You made your way across the room where you heard his deep, low voice coming from, greeting and hugging and shaking hands (if they had them) as you went. You’d just finished giving a little wiggle to say goodbye to a Moldsmol when you heard a familiar voice.

 

“SANS, YOU WILL HELP ME THIS INSTANT!”

 

Excusing yourself as you make your way through the crowd of monsters, you finally find Sans with his phone out, taking photographs of…. Oh, stars. You gasp softly and cover your mouth, eyes widening as you looked at the scene spread out before you.

 

Papyrus was sitting on the bleachers a few feet from Alphys, six toddler pup monsters crawling all over him, gnawing on his arms, licking the side of his skull. He looked positively helpless.

 

“They are adorable!!” you cry, and Sans turns to you with a shit-eating grin. You quickly put on an expression of stern reprimand. “I mean, Sans. You should help your brother…”

 

“can’t. it’s too doggone cute.”

 

“... Pawsitively adorable?”

 

Sans looks absolutely delighted, and he chuckles, mirth in his voice. “Could say that it’s--”

 

“SANS!!” You both look up to find one of the pups had stolen Papyrus’ hat and was gnawing on the brim, and the lanky skeleton was trying to grab it while also trying to shake off the remaining five pups.

 

A sharp whistle got their attention, and they dropped everything (including Papyrus’ hat, thank goodness) and ran over to Dogaressa, who was standing there looking very stern. Dogamy stood behind her, looking apologetically toward Papyrus.

 

“You pups know better than to chew on that,” Dogaressa chided, and Papyrus squawked in indignation.

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘THAT’???”

 

“Why don’t you go play with Frisk?” she continued, ignoring the skeleton completely, and the pups all perked up immediately, running off and barking. You felt your chest tighten and you sniffle, leaning against Sans.

 

“They’re all in little onesies with pawprints on them… Oh stars, it’s too cute.”

 

“YES, WELL, THEY ARE QUITE CUTE…” Papyrus straightened out his suit and uncrimped the brim of his hat, wincing at the slobber and tucking it under one arm. “YOU COULD HAVE HELPED, YOU KNOW!” He stood from the bleachers and made a face at Sans, who just shrugged his shoulders as he put his phone away.

 

“eh, why bother when you were havin’ fun?” Papyrus frowned and opened his mouth to protest, but Sans beat him to it, grinning. “we all know how you love kids. ‘sides, they were just  _ kid _ ding around.”

 

“WELL! … YES. I DO. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I LIKE HAVING MY FANCY HAT CHEWED ON.”

 

He strides over to Sans and sticks his orange tongue out at him, which Sans just blinks slowly at, looking unimpressed.

 

“wow, that was mature.”

 

“SAYS THE ONE WHO SET OFF A WHOOPIE CUSHION BY ACCIDENT AND  _ GIGGLED ABOUT IT _ FOR  _ FIVE MINUTES _ .”

 

“...Seriously?” you ask incredulously, turning to Sans, who was, conveniently, looking away. You just stare at him, and, after a moment, he shrugs.

 

“hey, funny is funny.”

 

He chuckles as you roll your eyes at him, and you hold your hand out for your cake, about to take it, when a voice cuts through the mumble of the room.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

You can’t mistake Asgore’s rumbling voice, and the way he spoke, it held the edge of a growl to it that sent a shiver down your spine.

 

“Please, I… I need to speak with someone.” A voice, a woman’s voice, edged with desperation and a plea. “Please!”

 

You push through the crowd, ignoring Sans’ call for you to wait, and find yourself standing behind Asgore and Toriel, who have put themselves between the woman and the rest of the room.

 

“And why should we listen?” Toriel asked, voice cold and full of an authority that made you want to listen. “You didn’t listen when our people cried out for mercy.” You move to walk between the two boss monsters, flinching when Asgore’s arm raised as though to throw you back. His eyes widened when he realized it was you, and quickly dropped his arm again.

 

The woman’s eyes widened, and she called your name. “I… I need to speak with you, please. There’s no time to explain--” She reached out for you, but just before she could get close, the smell of ozone cut through the air, and Sans was suddenly between the two of you. She recoiled as if she’d been burned, scrambling backwards.

 

“yeah, don’t think so, pal. cuz, the thing is, you had your chances.” Sans stepped forward, and she stepped back. “you had her offer ya her kindness, and her friendship. and you stomped it into the ground.” His left eye blazed with magic and his left hand became enveloped with a cyan blue glow, and she fell to her knees hard, barely being able to keep herself up as she whimpered for mercy.

 

“Sans, stop.” Your voice cuts through the chaos, and his magic immediately dissipates. He turns to you with a frown, brows furrowed in confusion, but the look on your face pleads with him to listen...so he does.

 

You walk closer and kneel down in front of the woman, brushing aside her long, blonde hair and looking her in her ice blue eyes. Multiple feelings arise from seeing her again….but you ultimately remember that she did help you, too. So you help her to her feet, and you steady her as you turn to the monsters all looking at you.

 

“Let’s listen to what she has to say… please.” Toriel and Asgore’s paws loosen, no longer preparing to summon fire magic on command, and Undyne’s spear dissolves into nothingness in her hand with a curse. Sans levels a look at you for a long, hard moment…then he nods. He’s trusting you with this decision. You breathe a sigh of relief and turn back to the human woman, your eyes thoughtful yet guarded.

 

“Thank you, thank you… I don’t know where to begin,” she cries, tears welling and ruining her mascara. Once you’re sure she can stand on her own, you release her, taking a step back, closer to Sans.

 

“You can start at the beginning… Why are you here, Kathleen?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this installment!! Be sure to visit and follow me over on [My Tumblr](https://life-sans-sin.tumblr.com/)! Scream at me about updates! Ask questions! I'm more than happy to be willing to answer! Hell, I might just do an In-Character Ask Game for them to celebrate starting the story up again! Anything that isn't spoilery will be answered! (And even if it is spoilery, I'll have the questioned person answer in a vague or mysterious way. XD)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a challenge to write for a number of reasons, but I overcame them and hope sincerely that you enjoy it. Things may not make sense right now, but have faith that things will be explained and worked out later. c:
> 
> Also my obligatory mention that those who are a patron over on my Patreon got to read this chapter three days earlier than the public! They also get things such as universe notes, character profiles, and background peeks, as well as character art! Fun stuff!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. :heart:

“It had all started out so small… so small that I didn’t really notice much was wrong at all, really. It started with him being a little rougher than normal with me, a little meaner… But he was always abusive, so I just chalked it up to a bad few weeks. ...But then I noticed that he wasn’t taking his medication anymore. He’s been on it since he was a kid. Our parents always thought he was too much, too unfocused, too energetic… so they got him on meds when he was really young. It didn’t stop him from being violent, it just made him more focused… focused on me.

I don’t really remember when it started getting out of hand… It started small, with hair pulling, and pinching under the dinner table, and all that manner of nonsense. But then he’d turn around when our parents were looking and play nice. He’d be sweet, and hug me, and tell me how much he loved me.

… Ha. I suppose that much hasn’t really changed.”

Kathleen drew in a shuddering breath, raising the offered napkin to dab at her eyes. She didn’t know why she bothered. Her makeup was already ruined by her tears. She’d have to try and fix it somehow before she went back… if she went back.

She pressed on.

“But… then, one day, he came home with this… this knife… It looked old. I asked him why he had it, and he just…” She shivers. “He smiled at me, but it wasn’t like it was him, at all. And he asked me… ‘What do you think I should do with it?’

And… he cut me.” Pausing to raise the sleeve of her blouse, she revealed a thick, ugly scar, just at the top of her shoulder. “It was the first time he’d actually… well, he’d done harm to me before, but, not like this. I was terrified, of him. Of that knife. I don’t know…

After that, things started to change much more rapidly… He’d come back to me in seasons. Like, one minute, he’d be my brother, who’d punch me then tell me how it was for my own good… then, the next, he was… the knife-wielding lunatic I was watching him become.” Realizing she’d been staring at her scar, she quickly dropped her sleeve to cover it again, letting out a shaky breath. “He never really liked monsters… Never liked change of any kind. And, truthfully… neither did I. I was afraid of them, of the magic they had. But...but I’d never…” Choking up, she let out a short sob. “I’d never… do to them what he had me do.”

“we don’t want your sob story. get to the point.”

“Sans…” you murmur, glancing over to him with a small frown.

She took a moment to breathe, to compose herself, and continued. “He came to me with this idea… He’d never explain it to me. Said that humans were too stupid to comprehend his plan. But he commanded me, threatened me, to do the things I did, and it all started… with you.” She looks up at you, then, the apology she’d never said written clear as day across her tear-stained face. “He told me that a corrupted soul was easier to control… so I was to do that. Corrupt you. He said that kindness is corrupted the most easily, that it was the weakest...whatever that means.

So I was awful to you. I… I’d make all manner of comments, about your weight, your looks, your intelligence… anything to try and get to you. To get your soul to break a little bit. ...But it never worked.

He said that he needed all seven… That he needed SOULs with extraordinary magical power.”

Your brows furrow. “But… I don’t have any magic. At least, not anymore…”

“No… The direct shot of concentrated magic to your SOUL didn’t take as it was supposed to, didn’t get absorbed properly. It just used itself up immediately… and he doesn’t have a clue why. And it’s been driving him madder and madder each day.” She brushed aside a lock of hair, wincing as it moved across the heavy bruising on her cheek. Her swollen eye welled with tears.

“He’s so convinced… that you’re a mage. So convinced that he kidnapped you, tried to force your soul to do something it shouldn’t.”

A faint grating sound stopped her, and you look over to see Sans gritting his teeth, his hands clenched into tight fists despite the tight smile spread across his face. You reach out and grab his fisted hand, and he startles, just enough for you to unclench his fingers and thread yours between his. The look he shoots you is apologetic, and you just shake your head subtly at him.

“I’m sorry that you’ve been put through this… really, I am,” you say carefully, giving Sans’ hand a squeeze when he snorts derisively. “But… you’ve done horrible things. You’ve lied before, how do we know you aren’t lying now?” You voice the concerns you can feel Sans radiating in waves, and you almost regret it from the way Kathleen’s eyes widen, desperation draining into her expression.

“I-I… I know, but, you have to believe me! Please! I need your help!” She looks over your shoulder at Asgore, who is staring her down hard, both his and Toriel’s rubiescent eyes glinting in the minimal light the gym locker room had to offer. All you could think was thank the stars you’d all moved there, instead of bringing all this out in front of everybody… Who knows what might have happened.

Toriel straightens, her paws folded neatly in front of her. “We are listening.”

“There’s something… something wrong with my brother. There always has been, but, I mean, now, it’s even worse. There’s something...unnatural. Something inhuman.” When Kathleen notices the monsters’ eyes harden at her phrasing, she raised her hands defensively. “A-and something not monster-like, either! It’s… It’s like…” She paused, swallowing thickly past the fear that was rising, high and heavy in her throat. “... Have you ever...heard of someone being posessed?”

You flinch as Sans’ hand clenches around yours for a second, but it only lasts for a second before he’s easing up, sending you an apologetic glance.

“Sometimes… sometimes it seems like… like he’s, y’know…” She continues on dumbly for a moment, searching for words that don’t exist to explain a situation that shouldn’t be. “I’ve seen this...glint… in his eyes, before. When he held the knife against me, and he was--” A shudder. “Smiling in that way that wasn’t human… I swear, I saw this glint of blood red in his eyes.”

The room grows cold in that moment, and Kathleen is quick to look over her shoulder, paranoia clear on her face.

“Asgore…” The matronly monster looked to the King with sharp eyes, an expression of disbelief reaching every part of her face. “We are not to simply believe the words of this person who has betrayed our trust, right?” The King’s face was drawn tight with anger, the shimmering red energy of a trident beginning to take form in his hand. Kathleen backed up against the lockers with a clatter of metal doors, her eyes wide and tearing. Before you or anyone else in the room can stop him, there is a brilliant crimson trident being pointed at Kathleen, just inches away from her nose.

“Wait, Asgore--!” You move to step between them, but Sans has a firm grip on your hand, not letting you move.

“If I find you are deceiving us, child… I will make certain that you will regret it. I have lost far too many of my people as it is. I refuse to lose any more without a fight.”

Then, a burst of golden light erupts from Kathleen’s blouse, and Asgore is quick to pull back when he sees the golden yellow of a soul floating there, not inverted, but upright. She looks down at it, then her now yellow eyes flicker over to Sans, then to Asgore, even as they well up and spill over with fresh tears.

“...I just want to make things right…”

The boss monsters look between themselves at one another, and you find yourself staring, captivated, at the soul floating between the tip of Asgore’s trident and Kathleen’s chest, unwavering in the face of opposition.

“Please…” she whispers, and the golden light grows stronger. “Let me do this right.”

 

* * *

 

It took you awhile to find the first aid kit in the gym locker room, but once you found it (shoved in one of the lockers behind some furry towels...ew), you brought it back over to the bench Kathleen was sitting on, legs to one side as though she were riding a horse side-saddle. You straddle the bench with one leg on either side and put the kit between the two of you, popping open the lid and checking the inside contents. Jars of magical salves that were crudely labeled for their purposes, as well as a box of enchanted bandages, lay inside… along with, you noticed, some regular bandages and gauze for Taobh Elementary’s human students?

The silence between the two of you is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Just like the eerily black and red glowing knife that Devon, Katheleen’s brother, had held at you when you were kidnapped…

A hand on your shoulder snaps you from your thoughts, and you look down to realize that your hands were shaking too much to open the salve jar. You glance back at Sans and offer him a reassuring smile, and he smiles back, though it doesn’t quite reach his sockets. He isn’t convinced.

The silence drags on as you carefully uncap the jar, peering inside to see the shimmering green gel-like substance. It looked like it had glitter in it; when you dip your fingers inside, you realize that it is, in fact, glitter. Thick, tiny pieces of star-shaped micro-plastic coat your fingers along with the magical jelly. You draw in a slow breath through your nose and finally look up, wincing ever so slightly as you meet Kathleen’s bright, ice blue eyes. Had she been staring at you the entire time? Who knows… but it makes you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. As though you’re being judged.

...Then again, maybe she’s just wanting to avoid her eyes wandering onto Sans, who you know is standing behind you with a disconcerting smile on his face.

“This might hurt a little…” you mumble, raising your gel-covered fingers to her bruised cheek and eye, and she is quick to raise a hand and brush her long, blonde hair out of her face. You suck in a breath. It looks even worse than you thought, purpleish bruising covering from her cheekbone to her ear, and you can now see more clearly how swollen her left eye is. You hear shuffling behind you as Sans steps closer and, when you glance back at him, can see that even he isn’t completely unaffected by the sight.

Kathleen let out a soft hiss of pain when you finally got over yourself and began to apply the salve. The glitter immediately clung to her bruised skin, glowing a soft verdant color, and she made a small noise of confusion.

“It’s… numb?” she asked, as if asking if that’s what it was supposed to do. You turn the small jar over in your hand, struggling to read the label.

“nah.” Sans surprised both of you when he spoke up, enough that even Kathleen looked his way. She was quick to avert her gaze, though, some indiscernible emotion crossing over her face. “‘s healin’ magic. our best healers made that stuff. vegetoid, and woshua, undyne and tori… but it relies on the intent of the person applyin’ it.” He straightens up to his full height, sockets going dark as he stares down Kathleen, who simply hunches her shoulders up and hugs herself protectively. “if it were me applyin’ it, it’d prolly turn ya the color of mustard.”

In other words, jack all… You know how much he dislikes her, but you didn’t think it ran so deep that, even now, he wouldn’t help her. There must be something else going on here...and you’re going to get to the bottom of it.

...Later.

The salve now spread across her cheekbone and jaw, you watch is soft awe as it absorbs into her skin, leaving no trace of medicine...except for the little glitter stars, which remain and seem to sparkle slightly. The bruising was still there, but it was that gross yellow and green color that came with healing. Like it were almost back to normal, but not quite. Her eye was a little less swollen, too, and you find yourself marveling, not for the first time, at just how wonderful magic was.

“Is it done…?”

Kathleen’s uncomfortable voice broke the silence, and you were quick to look away from her, re-capping the jar and returning it to the first aid kit. “Yeah, it’s done. One or two more applications and you should be back to normal.”

She breathed a sigh and her shoulders relaxed a bit, “Good…”

More silence… only this time, it’s charged, as though there were some pressure coming from the other side. You glance back at Sans to see him just standing there, not necessarily trying to be scary or menacing.

“Um!” You turn back to Kathleen to find her fidgeting with the strap of her purse, which she’s kept clutched tight to herself this whole time. “...I wanted...to say thank you.” She meets your eyes only for a second, then she’s staring down at the bench between the two of you. “You’ve shown me nothing but kindness since we met, and I… I just…” She trailed off at that, and, not knowing what else to do, you reach out and put your hand on hers. She jumps, pulling her hand back a bit, and you push forward, holding onto her hand in a grip just gentle enough that she could pull away, if she wanted to.

“Let’s start over.” Despite feeling drained from the evening’s turn, you find it in yourself to smile at her, attempting to be reassuring. You introduce yourself all over again, and give her hand a small squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you.”

She just stares at you, uncertainty draining into her expression before, finally, she hums softly. “Still just as soft as always…” You blink at her, confused, but then she straightens her back and takes your hand more firmly. “My name is Kathleen Elizabeth Stark. And it’s… nice to meet you, too.” Her boldness wears off toward the end, and you can’t help but smile wider at the sincerity of that. When you release her hand, you notice that she’s the last to let go, then she quickly pulls her hand away, fiddling with her purse straps again.

The doors leading to the gym locker room open, and Violet walks in, a thermos in one hand and Grillby’s in the other. The flame monster nods his head at the lot of you politely, and you do the same. Kathleen, however, has her eyes blown wide, staring at his clothing as though expecting them to combust at any moment. She turns to look at you as though she were asking ‘how’, and you just shake your head with a little smile.

“Magic.”

The floofy brunette releases Grillby’s hand and unscrews the cup and lid off of the thermos, pouring what seems to be a very strong smelling brew of some sort into the cup. You know she deals in herbal remedies and healing, but you’re not too sure about--

“Here.” She holds the cup out to Kathleen, who recoils slightly at the smell. “Drink it.”

\-- annnnd it seems like it doesn’t matter what you think. However, you catch a glimpse of what’s in the cup, and you see a shimmering green traveling throughout the liquid. Like someone had mixed in green shimmer powder into the tea… and you nudge Kathleen to get her attention.

“Go ahead. It’ll help.” You hope your smile is convincing (the smell is strong), and it must be, because she took the cup. She stared into it for a moment, watching the bits of herb leaves and that mysterious shimmer float around before tipping back and downing the tea. You watch her carefully, concern knitting your brow as you glance between her and Violet, who is simply watching her calmly.

“Guh… What… was that?” Kathleen splutters out, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and passing the cup back to Violet, who peers inside, reading the tea leaves.

“Hmmm… the Mountain… a challenging journey is in store for you.”

“Wh-what? .. What was in that tea?”

Your gaze travels from Violet, who was still peering into the cup, to Kathleen, who--

“Woah, your face!” you exclaim, though poorly worded, because she starts feeling around her face frantically, as though looking for a growth of some kind. “Your bruising is all gone…” Even as you say that, you can see the last remnants of yellowish discoloration vanishing, being replaced with healthy, peachy skin. She slowly presses on her once-bruised cheekbone, then raises her hand to touch her eye, no longer swollen… and she looks to Violet, eyes wide.

“How…?”

“Magic…” you mutter reverently under your breath, in awe. Sans, too, is stepping forward now, moving closer to Violet.

“that shouldn’t be possible. only monsters can heal people.”

“And those humans descendant of mages.” Grillby’s smoky voice startled everyone in the room, and Violet whirled around to face him, frowning. He meets her gaze, stares into her eyes as they reflect his flames, and clears his throat. “She is not the only one, is she?” The white hot-spots of his eyes move slightly to look over at Kathleen, and Sans chuckles.

“welp. looks like we got ourselves a bit of a situation on our hands.” He shoved his hands into his jean pockets, fiddling and clenching and unclenching his fists. “...does asgore know?” he asked, gesturing toward Violet with his left hand, and Grillby’s flames dampened a bit as he shook his head. “no, that’s good, that’s… that’s prolly for the best.”

Silence envelops the room for a long while, but, mercifully, it was finally broken by the door opening again. Toriel poked her head into the room, and Violet quickly put the lid back on her thermos. The matronly monster peers around, her rubiescent gaze lingering on Kathleen for a long moment before she sighed wearily.

“Everyone else has left. You… all of you are free to go now.” She stepped into the room again, and with that look on her face, you realize just how powerful and large she is. Kathleen must realize it, too, if the way her eyes widen and she shrinks back a bit says anything about it. “However.” Her gaze softens the slightest bit, a warmth seeping into the room that wasn’t there before. “We do not believe it is...safe…for you to return to where you were, Ms. Stark.”

“What…?” Kathleen mumbled, confusion clear as day written across her face, and Toriel simply chuckles.

“What I am saying, child, is that we wish to try and prevent that,” she gestures a paw towards her face, “from happening again… You may stay with one of us for safety.” Glancing back toward the door over her shoulder, she sighs. “...And so we may keep an eye on you. Think of it as being for our safety as well as yours.”

The blonde haired woman’s eyes narrowed slightly as she thought, hands stilled on her lap. After a few quiet moments, they clench, bunching up the fabric of her skirt in her fingers. “But--” She looks away, staring intently at one of the lockers. “But I’ve done such horrible things… to all of your kind. Even if I didn’t hold the knife myself, I helped him--”

“We are aware.” Toriel’s voice is worn, tired, but it leaves no room for argument… Kathleen ducks her head and nods. “Good. Now the only question is where you will stay--”

“With me.” Your lips were moving before you could even keep track of what you were saying, and you’re not the only one surprised by it. Everyone seems at least slightly affected, but Sans moreso. He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes, not hard, but enough to know he’s there. You press onward. “She can stay with me. I have an empty guest room in my apartment. And that way I can keep an eye on her, too.”

“there’s gotta be a better place for her--”

“It makes the most sense. I know her best.” You didn’t really, you think, but you don’t mention that. “I worked as her aid for quite a while at Tristen Elementary.” After a short pause, you look over at Kathleen, who is still staring with wavering eyes at her lap. “Besides… She said she wants to do things right. And I believe her.” She looks up at you then, eyes sharp and unsure all at once.

“...Then, you are sure of this decision?”

A squeeze on your shoulder helps solidify your thoughts, and you nod, meeting Kathleen’s gaze. “Yes. I’m sure.”

“Then, we will do whatever we must to make things easiest for you. And we appreciate your sacrifice.” Toriel ducked back out of the room, and though she was no longer present, you could still hear her mumbling something to someone just outside. Probably Asgore, if you had to guess from the deep rumbling murmur you heard in response. You breathe out a long sigh and raise your hand to rest on Sans’, still resting on your shoulder. When you glance back at him, he’s quick to put on a smile...but you didn’t miss the way he was glaring at Kathleen seconds before.

He may not trust her… well, ever. But you had to try and do this. Something in your heart, in your SOUL, just told you that there was still hope for her yet. If she could reform, then maybe she’d prove to be a valuable ally. But more than that… you know she could do better than what you’d seen. She said she wanted to do better, to be better, and do things right… and you believed her.

‘Through kindness, all things are possible…’

You sincerely hoped with everything you had that that was the case.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first off, I'm so sorry for this taking so long. I've had other projects going on that I just haven't been able to post about. But fret not! I've bumped this up on my to-do list, so hopefully I'll be able to start getting out chapters quicker, even if they're a little shorter.
> 
> Second, I wanted to announce that I've made an ask blog for Lena and her vertebaes! You can ask each different Lena questions about themselves, and their partners. You can find that here: https://green-whiskey-soul.tumblr.com
> 
> Third, I wanted to thank you for waiting. You, the person reading this, for sticking with me and this journey and putting up with my abysmal update schedule (that's a joke, I don't even have a schedule, I should make one). It really means the world and more to me, so thank you, thank you!

The day was crisp and clear as you helped Kathleen carry what little belongings she had in her car up to your apartment. Her phone and charging cord, a pair of sunglasses, some books left in the back seat… all of it was put into a small cardboard box, which you now set on the dresser in the guest bedroom of your apartment.

 

“Is that everything..?” you ask, just to be sure, and glance over at Kathleen to find her looking uncomfortable, staring at the box of measly objects from the doorway.

 

“Yes, that is all that I have with me.” Her expression darkened a bit, something akin to fear touching her eyes for a moment. “I would have to… go back, in order to get the rest.”

 

Frowning, you stood there silently, peering down into the small box and reaching in to pull out a book at random. It was a self-help book, obviously, and when you flipped it open to read the inside cover, you discovered it was about leaving toxic relationships. You snapped the book closed and set it back in the box, turning to the blonde haired woman with a smile.

 

“Well, then I guess we’d better get you some clothes. ...I doubt you’ll fit into anything of mine,” you chuckle and head out of the room, plopping down onto the couch next to your very quiet bonefriend.

 

Sans had insisted on being nearby, for obvious reasons, of course, but you still felt bad. Not only was Kathleen being treated like someone dangerous, but now Sans was taking time off of work in order to babysit, essentially… but you push those thoughts aside and lean over him, pressing a kiss between his eyesockets.

 

You’re not sure how it’s possible for a skeleton to wrinkle a nose he doesn’t have, but you just chalk it up to him having a flexible face… kind of like how he was able to move his mouth. Malleable bone. Weird. You loved it.

 

“You up for a shopping trip, or should I call someone else?”

 

“i got nowhere else to be. ‘sides, i figure you’ll need someone to help carry.”

 

A brow is raised at him, and he just chuckles. You both know he will most likely not be carrying anything. Especially if it belongs to Kathleen.

 

“Okay, then. Mind taking us to Kupa’s?” you ask, putting on your best smile to try and convince him. When he just stares at you, you sigh. “Or we can take the bus. That’s okay, too!”

 

* * *

 

You step off of the bus with Kathleen and Sans in tow, the both of them standing as far apart from one another as physically possible without making it obvious they have a problem with one another. With everything that went down, you certainly can’t blame them… but still, it’s gonna be awkward if they keep doing this. You sigh.

 

“Okay, c’mon. Hopefully he’s not too busy…”

 

When you push the doors open, it’s to a familiar bat monster flying by, a blur of purple ethereal wings sprouted from his back.

 

“Hey, watch where you’re-- … Oh. It’s just  _ you _ .” The bat monster’s yellow eyes narrowed at you, and you felt a small twinge of sadness in your heart, for some reason you couldn’t quite explain.

 

“hey, kid.” Sans’ voice popped up from right beside you (though you aren’t sure why, he was always beside you), and Ven’s shoulders hunched a bit, turning his head to look away. His odd little heart-shaped bat nose wrinkled at the top and he frowned crookedly, like a child that just got scolded, even though all Sans did was say ‘hey’.

 

“Come on, now, enough of that,” a kind voice spoke from high above you, and Ven had all but a second to react before a large hand was ruffling his hair.

 

“Ack, hey! Cut it out!” the child protested, but the large, giraffe-like monster just chuckled and removed his hand, placing it instead on his hip.

 

“Could you keep an eye on Pico for me? I get the feeling they’re here as customers, not guests.”

 

Ven grumbled under his breath and folded his arms, the little, summoned ethereal wings sprouting from his shoulder blades carrying him past the other monster and into the back room, where you could distinctly hear the high-pitched coo of a small child.

 

“I’m sorry about him, he’s not very fond of people… It is nice to see you again, Lena, Sans.”

 

Kathleen awkwardly cleared her throat as she stared up at the towering monster, glancing from the corner of her eye at you, and you shot her a bright smile.

 

“Kathleen, this is Kupanda. He’s the best tailor in the entire tri-state area, if not the entire world!”

 

The giraffe-like monster ducked his head a bit as a vibrant shade of gold bloomed across his face and blended well with his short, tan colored fur.

 

“You’re much too kind, Lena… And, please, call me Kupa.”

 

“Right, sorry… Kupa, I’d like you to meet Kathleen Stark.” The name brings a stiffness to his shoulders, but his smile remains in place across his face.

 

“I see. I take it you used to work together?” he asks, and you nod, determined not to let the subtle signs of discomfort in the conversation throw you off. “Well, it is wonderful to have you in my shop today. May I ask why it is you’re visiting?”

 

He was looking at Kathleen, but, when she ducked her head and looked away from him, arms crossing protectively over her chest, you decided to spare her and speak up for her.

 

“She’s in need of a new wardrobe…” Probably best not to go into any more detail than that, you think. 

 

“I see. I can certainly do that, so long as Miss Stark is okay with me doing that.”

 

Kathleen flinched slightly and looked up at him, startled. “I-...” She trailed off, and her manicured nails dug into her palms as she stared down at her feet. Beside you, you sensed Sans’ attention shift, and you glanced over at him to see him staring quite intently behind the facade of a lazy smile he always kept on. You reached for his hand and squeezed, about to cut in and speak for her again, but her softly spoken words surprised everyone. “Please…” Her ice blue eyes looked up, past strands of pale blonde hair that were in front of her face. “I have nothing else… I’m… I could really use your help…”

 

The silence seemed to stretch on for miles, and Sans’ hand squeezed yours back, but the look in his eye was one of hesitance. It really meant a lot for someone as prideful as Kathleen to ask for help like this...and he knew it. You knew it. Hell, even Kupanda, who didn’t even know her, seemed to know it, if the look on his face was any indicator. He let out a soft sigh through his nostrils and raised his hand.

 

Kathleen flinched hard, curling in on herself, and you all just kind of stared at her for a moment before realization set in, and--

 

Kupanda put his hand atop her head gently, ruffling her hair, and she looked up, blinking, as if she were expecting so much worse, so much worse… The giraffe-like monster smiled, no fang, and tilted his head slightly to one side.

 

“Lena can get your measurements and we can go from there… Sound fair?”

 

You nod eagerly, reaching and giving Sans’ hand a squeeze before releasing it and walking Kathleen to the back of the store.

 

Sans stared hard at the back of Kathleen’s head before releasing a slow sign through his nasal cavity, shoving his hands into the pockets of his blue hoodie.

 

“You can relax, you know.”

 

The voice didn’t necessarily catch him off-guard, but Sans did think he was alone at the front of the store… Surprising how such a large monster could be so quiet and unnoticeable. Kupa looked down at the skeleton monster with a kind expression  before looking off to where the two girls disappeared in the changing rooms.

 

“Justice souls are very difficult to deter, once they find a cause. And I believe that her cause has been found in Lena… Do you trust her?”

 

“...can’t say I trust her yet, but…” A smile breaks out across Sans’ face. “i do trust lena. so i guess that’s gonna have to be good enough for now.”

 

* * *

 

“Okay, can you hold your arms up for me?” you ask, watching as Kathleen  hesitantly does so. Your hands move slowly as you reach for her, but still she flinches away a bit, and you pause, waiting for her to relax a bit before moving again.

 

The slide of the measuring tape against fabric was the only real sound, aside from your soft breathing, almost silent enough that you could hear the murmur of conversation from the monsters out at the shop’s front, but not enough to understand the words. You note down the number the measuring tape tells you, and a small part of your mind yells at you, how you should be closer to that number, but you squash those thoughts down.

 

“Okay, next, put your arms at your sides. Gotta get your shoulder length.”

 

Kathleen nodded stiffly and complied, and you continued to mark down measurements.

 

The silence, to you, was comfortable...but apparently that wasn’t something shared by everyone, because Kathleen broke that silence with a muttered breath.

 

“How do you do it?”

 

“How do I do what?” you ask, curious, while your hands continue to move to take measurements.

 

“How do you keep up that face all the time?” Your hands falter a bit at this, and she’s quick to pull away, smoothing out the wrinkles on the blouse she’d slept in. “Forget it, it doesn’t matter. ...Sorry.”

 

Now the silence is a bit loaded, a bit awkward, but you don’t let it get to you. Instead, you reached out and took her hand, ignoring her flinch as you pulled her arm out and measured from her wrist to her shoulder.

 

“I just know that everyone has a little bit of light inside them,” you said simply, as though this were obvious. “When you show them kindness and love, that light will shine. ...And your light is so pretty.”

 

“What?” She seems uncomfortable, and you almost want to say nevermind, but… but you don’t. Looking at her lightly bruised face, faded now, but still there, you give her your warmest smile. “Your light, it’s really pretty… I’d love to be able to see you shine, too.” And you’re not sure if you’re talking metaphorically or about her soul, but either way, you mean it. And she can tell, if the way her face flushes in embarrassment means anything at all.

 

“You can be so foolish…” she mutters, and you just chuckle, rolling up the measuring tape.

 

“Yeah, well, maybe so. But that’s just the way I am.”

 

The blonde haired woman reaches out  and puts a hand on yours, opening her mouth to speak, but unable. She closes her mouth and glances away, her bangs falling in front of those ice blue eyes and she murmurs under her breath, almost too quietly to be heard.

 

“...Thank you.”

 

Your smile widens across your face, and you take her hand in yours, lacing your fingers together and grabbing the tape and the little notebook you were marking down in. You push the red curtain aside and walk forward, pulling Kathleen with you gently as you thread through the aisles to get back to Sans.

 

You can’t see the skeleton monster, but you can hear him, and you see Kupanda, neck craned downward to look at the short skeleton. You emerge from between a rack of dresses and jumpers and hold up the notebook and measuring tape, a triumphant smile on your face.

 

“Got ‘em! Here you go, Kupa,” you say, and you are so focused on handing over the items that you almost miss the way Sans stares hard at your and Kathleen’s conjoined hands. Almost. You send him a smile and a little wink, and you delight in the way his sockets widen in surprise, a soft hue of cyan rising to his cheeks as he looks away.

 

“Thanks.” The giraffe monster takes the notepad and looks it over, and you feel Kathleen fidget at your side, giving her hand a small, reassuring squeeze. After a moment of contemplation, Kupa reaches a long arm up to scratch at his chin. “Well, I don’t have anything that will fit perfectly right now, but I can have some done by tomorrow. ...For now, do you have something you can wear?”

 

“I, uh… It’ll be fine--”

 

“You can wear some of my sweatpants. They have ties around the waist… and I might have a couple t-shirts that are smaller on me.” Kathleen looks up at you, and though her expression is guarded, you can see the gratitude in her eyes. So instead of waiting for her to thank you, you just smiled and gave her hand another small squeeze before looking back up at the towering monster before you. “Thank you, Kupa! Let me know how much I owe you tomorrow?”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and your smile falls for a second, only to be replaced by a look of surprise. “Consider it a gift.” His smile is a bit mysterious, and you’re not sure what that means, but you’re grateful nonetheless.

 

“Thank you so much.”

 

“ready to go?” Sans’ voice comes from behind you, and you know he’s still a little bothered by you two holding hands, but you’re determined to let Kathleen be the one to let go first.

 

“Yep!” You turn and give a small wave to Kupa and, spotting Ven and a little red bat monster with large ears poking their head out from the back room, wave at them. Ven just ducks back into the room, but the little monster waves back with both hands, babbling out a long ‘bye-bye’ amongst a frenzy of squeals before Ven pulls them with him.

 

It’s much quieter outside, though the ambient noise of cars passing by on the road fills the space between the three of you. It goes on just a little too long, and you can sense the tension rising again, although this time it’s just awkward.

 

“So… Anyone hungry?” you ask, and Kathleen turns away from you with her arms folded, scoffing lightly.

  
“Of course you’d be asking that.”

 

There’s a beat of silence, and you can feel San’s grip on your hand increase. When you look over at him, he’s looking very intently at Kathleen, smile tight around the edges in that way that you knew meant he was ticked off. Sensing this, Kathleen turned back to you and raised her hands defensively.

 

“I-I mean, you’re always thinking about everybody. Of course you’d ask something like that…”

 

You give Sans’ hand a squeeze and reach for Kathleen’s, tilting your head down the sidewalk.

 

“C’mon, I know the perfect place. It’s a pretty hot joint.” Sans moves to interlace your fingers, giving a little chuckle at your inside-pun.

 

* * *

 

The atmosphere inside of Grillby’s is light and warm, as it usually is. When the three of you walk in, there is a slight pause in the murmur of conversation, eyes all landing on you… or, more specifically, on Kathleen. Her shoulders hunch slightly and she glances around, trying to look polite while at the same time wanting to vanish into the earth.

 

“Heya Sans!” came Dogamy’s voice, sounding rather tired, and Dogaressa nodded and waved a paw at the three of you.

 

“Hey Saaansy~” The drunken bunny that was always sitting in one of the corner booths called out, and he just smiled and gave a short wave in her direction, even as she leaned herself against the edge of the table.

 

“Hey.” The voice from right in front of Kathleen startled her a bit, and Violet just gave a calm smile, taking her free hand and tugging her toward the bar. You release her other hand, watching with a small, short wave as Kathleen is dragged over to sit on one of the stools surrounding the hardwood bar.

 

“you sure about this?” Sans asks, glancing up at you from the corner of his eye. You just smile, tugging him much like Violet just did to Kathleen over to the flame elemental serving up drinks. “heya grillbz. you’re lookin’ hot.”

 

“I know, right?” Violet piped up, voice soft amongst the murmur, but Grillby’s face still burned as blue as if she’d whispered it into his ear. You giggle and glance over at Kathleen, who seems to be staring, transfixed, on the flames licking at Grillby’s shirt collar. They were small, to the point he looked more humanoid, but you could understand her confusion.

 

“You can ask him, you know.”

 

Her head snaps over to look at you and her face flushes in embarrassment. “S-sorry, I was just… sorry.” You put a hand on her shoulder and she flinches, but before you could say anything, Grillby is rolling up the sleeve of his long-sleeved button-up, exposing his forearm.

 

“Here,” came Grillby’s deep, smoky voice, and all four of you look up in surprise as he held it out to Kathleen. She looked on like a deer in the headlights for a moment, very put on the spot, before her ice blue eyes lowered to his arm, still hovering above the bar between them.

 

“...Will it burn me?”

 

“Only if I want it to.” She didn’t look very convinced, but, after a long, long moment, she slowly reached her hand out. It faltered a few times, until finally, finally, she brushed her fingertips against his wrist. She sucked in a breath just as everyone else released one, and you found yourself marveling at how many good steps forward she’d taken in a single day.

 

Grillby pulled his arm back with a kind smile and fixed his shirt sleeve, a smile you mirrored when Kathleen looked over at you in amazement.

 

“We’d like a triple order of burg with fries, please!” you cheerfully ordered, and Grillby nodded silently, back to using signs, as he turned and disappeared into the kitchen.

 

“Grillby makes some of the best food. I mean, besides Papyrus, and Toriel. Their food is really good too! Ooh, and Muffet…” Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen much of the spideress since Violet came more into the picture. You wondered vaguely if maybe something had happened, but it slips past your mind before you can really ponder too much on it.

 

Before you knew it, there were three steaming plates of burgers and fries, and you hear a stomach growl loudly. You’re just surprised it wasn’t your own. Kathleen reached for one of the fries and picked it up, taking a tentative bite.

 

“Wow, this is--” She cut herself off, looking a little embarrassed by her enthusiasm, and you’re quick to assure her.

 

“It’s okay! Grillby’s food is really good, just like I said, right?” You pick up your burger and take a large bite, tastebuds once again overwhelmed by the pure flavor, and you are pleased when you see Kathleen do the same. Even though it’s a little strange. You never pictured her the type to sit down at eat something like burgers and fries… but maybe that had to do with all the times she suggested you have salads at lunch.

 

You shake your head slightly and take another bite, the flavor helping to push the negative thoughts from your mind.

 

“It has a distinct… something. What is it?” You’d just taken a bite, otherwise you’d have answered, but Sans apparently had your back because he just popped a fry into his mouth and, mid-chew, answered.

 

“magic.”

 

It obviously wasn’t the answer she was expecting, but it didn’t bother her any, apparently, because she went right back in for another bite. And another.

 

You catch Sans looking around and, spotting the bottle of ketchup to your right, you slide it over to him. He catches it, glass clinking against his bony palm, and winks at you to give his thanks. Kathleen saw it, but instead of the scathing look you might have come to expect, instead she just looks slightly uncomfortable, shoving a fry into her mouth, perhaps to keep from saying anything.

 

Once the ‘burgs’ and fries were all finished, Grillby took your plates and Violet gave a small wave as she followed him back into the kitchen.

 

“Now it’s gonna take forever for orders to get done!” Doggo said loudly, and you heard a pan being dropped in the kitchen, along with Violet’s quiet laughter. 

 

“Looks like we better split, huh?” you said with a giggle in your voice, and Sans just chuckled, giving a small nod of his head.

 

“yep. hate to get burned with things gettin’ all hot back there.”

 

“How does that even work?”

 

Kathleen’s comment came out of nowhere, but, then again, she had no experience with monsters, so it only made sense. She just lacked the tact that Lena had gained, after spending so much time around monsters. You’re thinking of what to say and how to say it when Sans just slings an arm around your waist, his sockets half-lidded and his eye-lights bright.

 

“magic.” And, of course, there is a single jazz hand to accompany that statement. Kathleen doesn’t look any less comfortable, but she doesn’t exactly look content with that answer, either. But your face is burning, and you shrug Sans off gently, much to his displeasure.

 

“Okay! Welp, we should get going. I think the next bus comes around this time, so…”

 

Sans’ smile quirked up into a small smirk and he grabbed your hand.

 

“no need, i know a shortcut.”

 

You nod knowingly and take hold of Kathleen’s hand, allowing Sans to lead the three of you outside and to the alley on the side of the solid brick building.

 

“Close your eyes, okay?” you ask, and you already know what she’s going to say before she can say it.

 

“Why??”

 

“Just trust me! The magic only works if you have your eyes closed…” And she’s put into an awkward position and you know it, but if Sans wants to trust her with his shortcuts, then you’re not going to argue. You wait until she’s closed her eyes, then turn back to Sans and close your own. “Keep them closed until he says to open them, okay?”

 

There’s a long beat of silence as she nods, then, remembering no one can see except for Sans, mutters a very nervous, “Okay.”

 

The familiar sound of Sans cutting through space meets your ears, a whoosh of air suddenly moving in a place where it wasn’t, and he starts to move forward. The three of you take careful steps for a few moments before the ‘door’ closes behind you, and you know you’re in the Void.

 

“whatever ya do, don’t let go, and don’t open your eyes.”

 

His voice is so much louder yet distant in this space, and you can hear Kathleen’s heavy breathing behind you. By the time you’ve finally come through the other side into your apartment living room, your hands are trembling, and Kathleen sounds like she’s going to be ill.

 

“alright, you can open em’--”

 

Kathleen bolts for the bathroom, and almost as soon as the door slams closed behind her, you hear the unmistakable sounds of someone being sick on the other side.

 

“Oh, poor Kathleen… I should’ve warned her.”

 

“nah.” 

 

You turn and fix him with a look that has him shrugging his shoulders, glancing away.

 

“Well, anyway, thank you for taking us home.”

 

“it’s no problem,” he said, raising your conjoined hands and toying with your fingers with his. You can’t help but smile as he feels along the back of your hand for the bones that make up it… what are they called again? “metacarpals... proximal phalanges…” He’s muttering the names under his breath, and you can’t help it, it’s the cutest thing. You lean over and press a kiss to the top of his skull, stopping him in his tracks just in time for Kathleen to come out of the bathroom.

 

“There’s ginger ale in the fridge, and crackers in the cabinet… sorry.” She just shakes her head, her way of saying ‘it’s fine’, you supposed, before retreating to her room. As soon as the door closed behind her, you sighed, pulling your hand away from Sans’. “So, I guess this is goodnight? It’s getting pretty late… Don’t you need to get home, too?”

 

And he frowned, eyelights constricting slightly as he thought. “actually, uh, was kinda hopin’ that after today i could sleep with ya.”

 

You feel your heart thud against your ribcage, and your cheeks take on a pinkish hue. Was he seriously asking to sleep with you…?? Sure, you’d been together before, but as far as you’re aware of, this would be the first time! Were you even ready…?

 

“I um… I don’t, uh…. Sans, listen, I…”

 

He seemed to realize what he said, because in that moment his face turned an impressive shade of blue, and he pulled his hood up rather quickly.

 

“i only meant stayin’ the night cuz, y’know, with kathleen here an’ all, i don’t want anything happenin’ to you… i didn’t mean-- y’know, anything untoward or whatever. i was just thinkin’ i could, y’know, crash on the couch or somethin’ and you could lock your door so if she tries anything funny, then...haha… y’know?”

 

He was rambling, trying to act calm but that was given away by the way his face was flushed and his hood was pulled up to try and hide it. And it’s all you can do not to just kiss him right then and there, because that would only confuse things at this point. So instead, you reach out and grab the fur-lined edges of his hood, pulling him close so you can press a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Sure. That sounds fine.”

 

A wheeze of air left him once you let him go, and he rubbed at his arm, chuckling.

 

“cool... cool.”

 

* * *

 

Kathleen didn’t reemerge from her room after ‘embarrassing herself’ (or, at least, that’s how she put it when you checked in on her a few hours later). But you kept yourself occupied from worrying too much about her by spending the evening with Sans. He’d picked out your favorite movies, and, when it came to the parts you loved the most, he was muttering the words under his breath along with you. Almost like he’d seen this movie dozens of times before... 

 

And, truthfully, maybe he had.

 

You wonder a lot about the lost time between the two of you, the things you might have had but ended up losing. Enough that you started getting distracted from the movie and just, appreciating the fact that he was there with you right then.

 

The way his hand rested on your hip, squeezing every few seconds just to feel the softness of your curves, almost brought a tear to your eye, because somehow you realized that he’s probably been missing this closeness for a long, long time.

 

With movies done and over, and you falling asleep against the arm of the couch, Sans chuckled and turned off the tv and helped you get to your feet. You shared a kiss, and you pulled away first, even though he seemed like he wanted it to last forever.

 

By the time you get into your room with the door closed, your heart feels heavy in your chest with an emotion you’re not quite sure has a name yet. You wonder if Sans can feel it, too.

 

Sans watched the door close and released a quiet sigh, falling back to sit heavily on the couch cushions. It definitely wasn’t as soft as your bed, but he wasn’t about to try and relive that conversation. Even though, to him, the two of you were that close and intimate just the other day, for you, he knew it was different. And that was the real struggle, because your times didn’t match up anymore… and he found himself longing for the time lost.

 

He turned and kicked off his shoes, moving to lay on his side facing the cushions, brow bones furrowed.

Sleep wasn’t going to come easily, he just had that feeling.

 

* * *

 

When he wakes up, it’s to darkness, and, for a terrifying moment, he wonders if perhaps he’s found himself in another nightmare. But it’s warm, not chilling like they usually are, and there’s a softness against his bones that’s comforting. He cracks an eye open to look for the source, expecting a blanket, only for them to fly open in surprise.

 

There you were, laying against his side, curled against him. Your soul, which had been in turmoil before, he felt was now peaceful. Your breathing was soft and warm against his skull, and he felt tears prick at his sockets, but he blinked them away.

 

“lena? ...hey…” he said, voice gentle, barely a whisper, because, really, he didn’t want you to wake up. He didn’t want you to wake up and get embarrassed, and go back to your room.

 

Carefully, he turned over so he was facing you, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a heavy sigh.

 

Stars, how he missed this.

 

And just like that, it could all be taken away again.

 

Frowning, he curled into you tighter, eyelights impossibly bright in the darkness.

 

He was going to do whatever it took. You were never going to be taken away from him again, even if it killed him. A strange surge of something, not Determination, but close enough, burned through his bones, his soul thudding against his ribcage.

 

The sound of a door closing broke through his thoughts and his eyes darted over to Kathleen’s room, where the sound had come from.

 

…

 

She wasn’t a threat anymore, at least, not yet. He needed to get to work and figure out just what the hell the anomaly was doing. As much as he wanted to enjoy this new ‘reunion’ and refound relationship, he needed to make sure that another reLoad or Reset never happened again.

 

With the thud of her pulse against his temple and the rise and fall of her chest pressed against his, in that moment, he felt like he was capable of anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, for extra snippets, fanart from the chapters, and more, hit me up at my blog: life-sans-sin.tumblr.com
> 
> And the ask blog could use some questions, so please don't be afraid to send me (or them) anything you want to know! And thank you again for supporting me throughout the writing of this fic. It means a lot. :heart:


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